PYHO: THE RIGHT DECISION . . .

I've been struggling with a decision about my 9 year old for a few months.  Just when I thought I had it all figured out, someone made a suggestion that had me questioning whether or not it was the RIGHT decision.

Andrew is EXTREMELY smart.  Like, "how did I make YOU?", smart. But the problem is, he's also very lazy.  Unfortunately, he did get THAT from me! :(

In our schools they test them for Advanced Placement classes in Third Grade.  If you qualify, then you start taking AP classes in Fourth Grade.  Andrew qualified, and based on his scores, he also qualifies for the Gifted and Talented Program at one of the local schools.  So here's my dilemma.  And I'll take any advice anyone has to offer.  I have 2 options.

Option 1:  We could send him to the current school we'd planned on.  He will be in AP, and I know he will do well.  One of the reasons I'm thinking of going with this option is because he also has low self esteem.  (I know where he gets THAT from)!  :(  Part of me feels like if he goes to these schools, middle and high, he will be a little higher up from the other kids, and it might make him feel better about himself.  I want him to be smart, but I also want him to be well rounded and have a good self-esteem.  So if sending him to this school, where he'll still get an AMAZING education, but he'll also get a little bump up in his self-esteem, will help with that, then I don't see how that's the wrong decision.  Plus, if he's in the top 10% of the class, he'll have a better chance of getting a scholarship for college.  And since it's EXTREMELY expensive to send a kid to college, every little bit helps. 

Option 2:  Send him to the Gifted/Talented Program.  ALL of the kids there are EXTREMELY smart.  So he'll be on the same level, and probably will have kids that are much smarter than him.  But someone pointed out that that might make him work even harder.  (Lazy, from me, remember?)  So being in a school with kids as smart as him and smarter than him, could possibly make him a better student.  Chances are, it will.  However, he probably won't be in the top 10%, so not much chance of a scholarship.  BUT, if being with other people like him makes him work harder, then maybe he WILL be in the top 10%.  

No matter which school we choose, I really don't think there's a WRONG decision.  At least I hope not.  We still have a year to make the decision, he's only in 4th grade and we don't need to apply for the other school until next Fall.  We are going to tour the other school and see what it's like.  I keep asking for opinions from everyone.  I know it's ultimately OUR decision, and I know everyone has a different opinion, but I still feel like the more opinions I get, the more able we'll be to make an informed decision. 

So I'm asking you.  What would YOU do?

I'M BACK!

It's been WAY too long since I've written. Maybe you've missed me, maybe you haven't.  But I've DEFINITELY missed you guys.  I've missed writing.  I've missed communicating.  It's my way of getting things out.  It's my therapy.  And believe me, I need some MAJOR therapy!  :)  

So much has happened since the last time I wrote anything, so I have A LOT to catch up on.  I'm going to try to get back to writing at least every other day.  I miss my therapy sessions.

So I'll be back.  But for now, I have to get my baby girl to school.  So I'll be back AGAIN, later today!

9/11 - THE GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED . . .

Ten years ago today, our country was changed forever.  I'll never forget where I was.  I was pregnant with Andrew and I was taking Jason to preschool.  I heard them talking about it on Bob and Tom.  Now, for those of you that listen to Bob and Tom, you know they joke about a lot of things.  I thought they were making jokes.  And I thought, "that's not very funny."  About that time they said, "this is NOT a joke.  If you are at home, turn your radio off and turn your television on."  It was then that I realized this was for real.  And I couldn't believe it.  I spent days, just like everyone else, watching the events transpire on television.  It was a devastating time in our nation's history, and our country will never be the same again.  

But today, on the tenth anniversary of that day, I choose not to remember what happened THAT day.  I choose to remember the things that happened after.  I choose to remember the good things that came out of it.  I remember our first responders going in to help those in need, without regard to their own personal safety.  I remember ordinary people hijacking a plane from the hijackers, because they knew they needed to do it to protect others.  I remember the country coming together in prayer for all of those that lost their lives that day and in the following days.  PRAYER.  You know, that thing we're not supposed to do because of the whole separation of Church and State?  That wasn't so important to us then, was it?  

I'll never forget that for many months after this tragedy, we became more aware of ourselves and the people around us. We held hands at church. We prayed for people we'd never met. We smiled at others while walking down the street. We were nicer drivers. We never went to bed without telling our loved ones just how much we loved them. We KNEW how lucky we were to be alive and we celebrated that fact.  We were proud to be Americans, and in being proud to be Americans, we became more HUMAN.

Today, I will hold a hand, say a prayer, share a smile, and tell my family and friends how much I love them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH BETH . . .

Four years ago today, God gave us a blessing we didn't even know we needed.  Sarah Elizabeth is 4 years old today.  Where does the time go?  I wrote about how we found out I was pregnant with her and all of the emotions we went through and the problems during my pregnancy.  You can read that HERE.

I still can't believe my baby girl is 4.  Sometimes I feel like she's 12 or 13.  She seems so grown up at times, and then she starts whining, and I'm like, oh yeah, she's 4!  But she's an AMAZING little girl.  And she has been such a great part of our family.  I always tell people that we were happy before she came, but she "completed" our family.  I think she brought us all closer together.  The boys were so excited to be having a baby sister.  Ryan was looking forward to having "daddy's little girl."  And I was excited to be having a daughter.  One I could go shopping with, watch Disney movies with, collect Precious Moments with, and buy all the cute little girl clothes that are out there.

And now that little girl is 4.  And I thank God EVERY DAY that He gave her to us.  To love and cherish and take care of.  I promise to do my best to love and protect her, for as long as I live.

Thank you God.  Happy Birthday Sarah Beth.  I love you!

NKOTBSB . . .

I'm not ashamed to admit that I went to NKOTBSB this week.  It was AWESOME!  For those of you that don't speak the lingo, that's New Kids On The Block and Backstreet Boys.  And did I mention, it was AWESOME!

I felt like a teenager again.  First off, let me give you a little background.  I LOVED New Kids on the Block.  I was never much of a Backstreet Boys fan, but after this concert, I think I've been converted!  Anyway, we have a New Years Eve party every year.  We started doing it because we all have kids and it's hard to find a babysitter that night, so we just started having our own party and everyone brings their kids.  We've had 3 so far, and they get bigger and bigger every year.  And that's okay.  I LOVE it.  This past New Years Eve, NKOTBSB were on Dick Clark's Rockin' Eve.  Now, my friend Laura and I have known each other since we were 13.  Sandy and I have known each other since I was 19.  So let's just say, we know each other REALLY well, and we share a lot of history. We were in the other room when they came on.  We BOLTED into the family room and were singing and dancing to them while they were on.  Our kids looked at us like we were insane.  (They might not have been far off)!  We laughed and sang and had a ball.  A couple of weeks later Sandy called to tell me they were coming to Louisville and her and I and Laura should go.  So as soon as tickets went on sale, I bought them.  SSSOOO glad I did.

Here's Sandy's version of the night, complete with pictures and with a little bit of teasing thrown in.  She just recently started keeping a blog.  And she's a REALLY good writer.  So anyway, to see the pictures, hear about how funny I was, and hear HER version, go HERE.

For those of you that don't know me well, a lot of this won't be that funny.  But for those of you that DO know me, you will probably find it quite comical because you should have no problems picturing me during all of this!  The concert started at 8.  So I thought.  The plan was to leave at 5:15, which would give us plenty of time to get down there, grab some dinner, and then go to the concert.  Of course, because I'm ALWAYS late, we left closer to 5:30.  No big deal, we'd still be fine.  Then we got on the interstate and the traffic was psychotic!  What should have been about a 20-25 minute trip, turned into at least an hour.  While we were driving I told Sandy to pull out the tickets to make sure the time was right.  Guess what?  It wasn't.  The concert ACTUALLY started at 7:30.  Yeah, that's right.  30 minutes earlier than I thought.  Nice huh?  So then I REALLY started panicking.  

We finally made it Downtown and found a place to park.  We had about 45-60 minutes before the concert started.  And of course, every place we went was packed and had an hour or more wait.  We finally went to The Spaghetti Factory and decided we'd have a drink and wait for a table to open in the bar.  Laura stalked a couple that was about to leave, and they gave us their table.  We ordered a couple of appetizers and decided if we missed part of the opening act, that was okay.  

Then my friend Kathy, who was working the concert, texted me to tell me that Matthew Morrison just walked past her.  I'm a HUGE Gleek.  And I KNEW he was opening up for them.  But because I'm old and forgetful and unorganized and scatterbrained, I totally forgot.  Y'all, it was 20 minutes before the concert was supposed to start, we hadn't finished our food or drinks, I had to go to the bathroom, and we were 3 blocks away.  You people have never seen me move so fast in my life.  I was rushing everyone telling them to hurry up.  We finished eating, I used the facilities, we walked briskly, (because I don't run), to the Yum! Center, found our seats and sat down.  Less than 10 seconds later, Matthew walked on stage.  How's THAT for timing?!

He was great!  So glad we made it in time.  Even Laura and Sandy, who spent 20 minutes teasing me about watching Glee, talked about how cute he was and that he was a good singer.  Maybe I've converted them after all!

Next came NKOTBSB.  It was surprising to me how many of the words I still remembered.  And man did they put on a show.  And they were HOT, HOT, HOT!  (Maybe I'm not as old as I think I am)!  We had SO much fun. We waved our arms in the air, we pulled out our cell phones for light, since we didn't have lighters, we sang, we danced, we laughed.  We walked out of there with no voices and not much hearing.  But it was SO worth it.  I felt like a teenager again.  And believe me, it's been a LONG time since I was a teenager!

All in all it was an amazing night, with amazing friends, reliving our youth.  I wouldn't trade it for the world!

P.S.  Sandy was the only one smart enough to bring her camera, so after she sends me the pictures she took, I'll post them here.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA. I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH . . .

Today is my Grandma's birthday.  In case you're new and want to know about her, you can read about her HERE..  I wrote that last year on her birthday.

I can't believe it's been almost 13 years since she left us.  I still think about her almost every day.  My grandma was an AMAZING person.  Some of my best memories are of times spent with her.  She always made me smile.  She always made me feel special and loved.  I used to write about her a lot when I was in high school and college.  (One day I'm going to pull out some of those pieces and post them on here just so I'll have a record of them).  

I loved her so much, and I know she loved me.  I NEVER doubted that.  I may have doubted a lot of things in my life, but her love for me was never one of those things.  She had a quiet and gentle way of letting you know you were loved.  She was never critical or harsh in any way.  My mom tells me I'm a lot like her, and that's the best compliment I've ever received.  

My grandma was an AMAZING person, and I can only hope to one day be the kind of person she was.  She taught me so many things.  She taught me to love and respect people for who they are.  She taught me that it's okay to tell a "little white lie" if it makes someone feel better.  She taught me that family is so important and sometimes we have to make concessions for them.  She taught me that just because someone isn't perfect or isn't what we want them to be, that doesn't make them any less special.  She taught me how to be the kind of person my kids and future grand kids can hopefully be proud of one day.  She taught me to love unconditionally.

They truly broke the mold when they made her, and I know there will never be another one like her.  And that's okay.  Because she was SO special, and that kind of specialness only comes around once.  I'm just so glad, and feel so privileged to have had her in my life.  I know I'm special because of her.  I know my life is different because of her.  I know I was lucky to have had her in my life.  I know I'm a good person, because she told me so.  And I know that she will always be my guardian angel and my special butterfly.

Thank you Grandma for loving me, for me.  Thanks for not expecting me to change.  Thanks for letting me know that I'm special.  I will ALWAYS love you, and I will NEVER forget you.

THE MOM PLEDGE . . . .

Anyone that knows me well, or if you've read some of the posts on the blog, you know that my "hot topic" is bullying.  ANY kind of bullying.  I've mostly focused on bullying to and by children because I HAVE children, and I want to make sure I'm aware of everything that is going on with them.  I don't want them to be bullied.  I know I probably can't stop it from happening, but I CAN be there to shut it down when it starts.  And most importantly, I can make sure MY children, aren't the bullies.

But the really sad part to me is that it's not just children that bully.  At least with children you can kind of sit back and say, "well, they don't know any better.  Someone needs to teach them."  And that's all fine and dandy.  But what about when the bully is an adult?  What then?  How do you handle that?  What do you say to them?  Do you say ANYTHING to them?  Do you just ignore them?  HOW do you ignore them when they're bashing YOU? 

When I started this blog almost 2 years ago, (WOW!  Where does the time go?!), it was started to document our journey over in China.  We were there by ourselves, and I wanted our family and friends back home to be able to see pictures of the places we were visiting, and to know about the things we were doing so that they would, hopefully, not worry about us too much.  And it was a great tool for that.  

But then when we got home, I found that I still wanted to continue writing.  I used to write A LOT up until I graduated from college.  But then life happened and I just got too busy, so I stopped doing it.  This was my opportunity to start doing it again.  I find it very therapeutic to write about the things that are going on with our family, and also my feelings about things that are going on in the world.  The blog became less informative, and more personal.  I started reading other people's blogs and hearing about the things they're doing and reading about their feelings about things.  I've found some that I LOVE and look forward to updates from them every day.  There were some I found that I didn't like as much, so they aren't on my list of favorites.  That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with them.  It just means I didn't "connect" with them.  But I would NEVER say anything negative about them.  Most of us that are writing are writing our own personal feelings.  My feelings are just that - MY feelings.  They're not yours.  Just because you don't agree with me, it doesn't mean I'm wrong.  So if you don't agree with me.  That's fine.  If you don't agree with someone else.  That's fine too.  But you don't have to be mean and nasty and post comments on their blog that if you heard your child saying those things, you'd probably wash their mouths out with soap!  If it's not okay for your children, what makes it okay for you?  We are different people.  We all have different perspectives on life.  If you don't like someone's perspective, then you don't have to go back.  But you also don't need to make negative comments about their character.  

Some thought provoking moms came up with the idea of The Mom Pledge.  And I think it's a great idea.  It's basically saying I will stand up to cyber bullying; I will treat other bloggers with respect; if I disagree with someone, I will not attack them personally; I will not let them attack me if they disagree with me.  It's basically the principles most of us try to teach our children.  If those principles are good enough for my children, then why shouldn't I be expected to follow them as well?  

So today, I've chosen to take the pledge. Because I want my kids to see me living the principles I am trying to instill in them.

THAT'S WHY WE PAY FOR INSURANCE . . . .

Today started off as any normal day.  Ryan has been taking off of work on Fridays while the kids are out of school since he has vacation days that he hasn't used.  We saw an article about a restaurant we wanted to check out, so we decided to go there for lunch and then we were going to see Green Lantern.  Before you question why *I* would want to see Green Lantern, check this out :

NEED I say more?!

But I digress.  As we were pulling off the interstate, his tires started squealing and we started talking about him needing to get them replaced.  Then, as we were driving down the road to lunch, he went to stop because the truck in front of us had stopped at a red light.  But our tires skidded on the wet pavement and we crashed right into the truck in front of us.  Our car went directly under his bumper.  There was absolutely NO damage to his truck, so he left.  Our car, on the other hand, didn't fare so well.  On the way back home the car started overheating because the radiator was busted. We took it to a repair shop and there is about $3800 worth of damage to it.  So Ryan will be driving a rental car for the next 1-2 weeks while it's in the shop getting fixed. 

After we left there we went to Buffalo Wild Wings for lunch.  I wanted a couple of beers to help calm my nerves.  When I asked for the beer, she carded me!  Y'all, I'm 40 years old.  And while I don't look 60, I DEFINITELY look over 21!  Needless to say, Ryan thought it was pretty funny.  Maybe a little bit TOO funny.  But after the day I'd had, I need a little something to make me feel better!

But in the end, we're all okay, and things definitely could have been A LOT worse.  And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is WHY we pay for insurance!

PYHO: CASEY ANTHONY . . .

I'm sure most of you have been following the Casey Anthony trial.  But even if you haven't, I'm sure you've heard about it.  I'm not a big news junkie, but even *I* have been following what's going on.  

For those of you that are unfamiliar with the case, she was accused and charged with killing her daughter and lying to the police.  She was acquitted of the murder, but found guilty of lying to the police.  And a lot of people have been really ticked off about that.  And they should be.  But instead of getting mad at the jury, I think we should take a closer look at the prosecution.  They didn't do their job.  Their job is to prove BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT, that she did it.  They didn't do that.  

Do I think she's guilty?  ABSOLUTELY!  But that's only my gut feeling, and my gut feeling is nowhere NEAR enough to justify putting her in prison for the rest of her life. There was way too much circumstantial evidence, and not enough HARD evidence to prove she did it.  (At least if there IS hard evidence, they didn't share it with the jury).  There are too many people that have served time based on circumstantial evidence and then because of DNA evidence, it's been proven that they didn't do it.  But those people served time for a crime they didn't commit.  And that's terrible. Our legal system is set up to protect the innocent.  I'd rather one guilty person be set free than for ten innocent people to be convicted.

Do I believe justice wasn’t served?  Yes. But it’s the prosecutors job to prove BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT that she committed the murder.  And they didn’t do that.  That’s on them. 

I DO believe in a higher power, and I DO think she will get what’s coming to her in the end.  But for now, I will not buy any books or watch any movies that are made about her.  She doesn’t deserve to profit from any of this.  And while I can’t stop anyone else from doing it, you’d better believe *I* won’t do it.

That being said, I do feel for that little girl, and I do think she should be honored and remembered and I have no problems “leaving my porch light on”.  And I will THANK GOD every single day that it wasn’t one of MY children!

ONE MAN'S TRASH . . .

Tomorrow is our neighborhood yard sale.  And I've been pulling junk out of the woodwork.  We have A LOT of junk.  There are 5 of us, so needless to say, we've collected a lot over the years.  And now we're trying to get rid of a lot of it.  I hope it sells.  Or at least some of it.  We're going to Kings Island next week for vacation, so we could use the extra money to spend while we're there.  Not to mention, I REALLY just want to get rid of this stuff.  I've already decided that whatever doesn't sell is going to Goodwill.  IT IS NOT COMING BACK IN MY HOUSE!!!

It's funny that some things seem so important when we buy them, but then for some reason we never use them.  Or we outgrow them.  Or we find something more useful.  Even after tomorrow, we'll still have a lot of stuff that we need to get rid of, but at least we're getting rid of some stuff now.  And the rest of the stuff?  Well, that'll be for NEXT year's yard sale!

PYHO: A KID'S PRANK GONE WRONG . . .

Something happened here last week that's really been bothering me.  And it's stirred up strong emotions on both sides of the subject.  

First, a little background.  One night last week, some young kids were playing Ding, Dong, Ditch.  If you're not familiar with that game, it's where a bunch of kids run up to a doorbell, ring it, and then run away.  I've had the prank played on me, and I'm sure we played it as kids.  I'm also pretty sure my kids have either played it or WILL play it!  

Here's the problem.  As I said, one day last week some kids were playing it in their neighborhood.  On their way up to one of the houses, they saw a man standing on his front porch with a shot gun, so they ran away.  While they were running, he fired at them and hit one of the boys.  He is 12 years old.  And he's been in the hospital ever since.  And he will have major issues for the rest of his life.  Now, I'm not saying what the kids did was right or wrong, but what that man did was ABSOLUTELY WRONG!  In what universe is it okay to aim a gun at a child; especially one that is running away from you?

There has been a lot of talk here about the kids doing something wrong and where were the parents.  And I get all that.  I'm not saying the kids are perfect.  But seriously?  Ding Dong Ditch makes it okay to aim a gun at a child?  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!   Kids will be kids.  And they make stupid mistakes.  We all did when we were kids.  And I know my kids will too.  But don't EVER aim a gun at them.  If you have a problem with my children - call me.  Come see me.  But if you EVER aim a gun at MY child, don't be surprised to find me knocking on your door with my posse ready to kick some tail!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY . . .

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful Father's out there.  Of course my two favorites are my Dad and the Father of my children.  Without the 2 of them, my life would be totally different.  

My dad taught me to be a good person.  He taught me to laugh at the things I can't change.  He taught me to see the good in people, even when it's not always right in front of me.  He taught me to enjoy the little things in life.  He worked hard to give us all the things he thought were important in life.  He always loved us, nurtured us, and respected us.  He taught me how to be a good parent.  And for that, I'm very thankful.

My husband, and the father of my children, is an AMAZING father.  He's always been a good father.  My kids are so lucky to have him.  He hasn't always been the best husband, (he is still a man after all ;) ), but he's ALWAYS been a good father.  He spends time with the kids, he talks to them, he teaches them, he respects them, and he loves them.  Because of him, I believe my boys will grow up to be great father's, and my daughter will know that she deserves someone that will respect her and will be a good father to HER children.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

WORST MOM OF THE YEAR AWARD GOES TO ME!

I had a closing this morning.  Yea me!  But in the midst of getting ready for the closing, I earned that infamous title.

I was upstairs getting ready and the boys were downstairs playing Playstation.  When I came downstairs I asked them where Sarah was and they told me she was upstairs.  But I had just come from up there, and she wasn't there.  We searched the whole house and we couldn't find her.  Then panic mode set in.  I ran outside looking for her.  I saw one of my neighbors, but she hadn't seen her.  Then I walked across the street to another neighbor's and she was inside playing with the little girl that lives there.  They thought I knew she was there.  Which of course, I didn't!  She just walked right out the front door and right across the street to Hailey's.  Needless to say, I've felt like a bad mom all day long.  When I think of what could have happened, the thought just terrifies me. 

PYHO: PLEASE DON'T JUDGE ME AND MY CHILDREN . . .

I read a post earlier today that got me to thinking.  I know, scary right?! 

Kim over at The Child caught my attention this morning. 

I haven't been writing much lately.  It's not because I don't have anything to say, because for those of you that know me, you know I ALWAYS have something to say!  But I haven't been writing much because I feel like my opinions or feelings may upset someone.  There are a lot of things I'd like to write about and get them off my chest, but I'm always worrying about other people will think.  It seems like I spend my whole life worrying about other people think.  And it's so *frustrating*.  So starting today, I'm going to write WHAT I want, WHEN I want, and try not to worry so much about what others are thinking.  So if I upset you or offend you, I'm sorry.  But remember, these are MY feelings and opinions.  Not anyone else's.  And I don't expect everyone to agree with me.

So here goes:

I have 3 beautiful children.  And I love them dearly.  But I think you can tell when people DON'T have kids.  Let me give you an example.  My cousin's little boy called 911 when he was about 5 years old.  Now her son is the same age as my Andrew, so this was about 4 years ago.  As she's telling me the story of what happened, and how her husband reacted, I started laughing.  I mean, REALLY laughing!  Then I told her, 'I'm sorry, I know it's not funny."  To which she replied that it was okay, now that it's over, she was laughing too.  I was picturing her husband talking to the cops, and it just cracked me up; especially because I know her husband and I know her child and I could TOTALLY picture the situation as it was happening.

So a few days later I was relaying the story to some other friends.  And one of them got really upset, yelled at me, and said, "I don't think it's funny at all."  Now, before you think I'm some crazy person that laughs at everything, let me explain.  No, it wasn't funny when it happened.  But I wasn't there when it happened.  I was told about it afterward.  And he DID get punished.  But, like I said before, I think you can tell the difference between people that HAVE kids, and people that have NEVER had kids.  As a parent, when I heard that story, my first thought was, "thank goodness that was not my child."  But before I could even finish that though,  I knew that it very well could have been. So yeah, to me it was funny. 

Before I had kids I was one of those people that said, "my child will never do that!"  Then I had them.  And guess what?  They did!  So when they were younger I'd say, "well he'll never do that when he gets older."  But guess what?  He did.  Now, I just pretty much assume that what's going to happen is going to happen, and the only thing I can affect is MY reaction and make sure they understand why what they did was wrong.  But anyone that has kids knows that sh*t happens.  It is what it is.  And you can't change that.  

Even as adults we don't always make wise decisions.  And we're adults.  So how can we expect OUR kids, or anyone else's, to make wise decisions all the time?  We can't.  It's not fair.  So before you judge MY kids or someone else's kids, think about this.  Have YOU never messed up before in your life?  Have you never done anything wrong?  If so, then by all means, you have the right to judge me and my kids.  But if not, please keep your judgement to yourself.   

PYHO: THE THINGS WE PASS ON TO OUR CHILDREN . . .

I have three BEAUTIFUL children.  Jason will be 12 next month, Andrew is 9 1/2 and Sarah Beth will be 4 in August.  I've written a lot about my weight and about how much it bothers me.  I wish I could change it, but I'm lazy and I've been overweight as long as I can remember, so I guess I just figure it is what it is.  

But now, it's affecting my child.  Jason and Sarah are little.  They always have been.  But Andrew is built more like me and he has a belly.  And he's the least active of my 3 kids.  Whenever the kids are outside playing, he's the first one to tire out.  He's the first one to come inside because he's tired of playing.  He's the first one to give up when they're playing tag and running around the neighborhood.  

And because Ryan and I are both overweight, we're worried about HIS weight.  I don't want him to go through his whole life thinking he's not a good person because he's fat.  I don't want him to worry about what other people think about the way he looks.  He went to a swim party the other day and he wouldn't get in the pool without a shirt on because he was worried about his belly.  AND I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT!

So the other night we talked to him about making better choices in what he eats and playing outside more.  And it broke my heart.  Because I know he gets this problem from me.  And it really sucks.  I told him that I would love him even if he had 3 heads and that it's not just about the way he looks, but it's about being healthy.  You guys don't know Andrew.  He's an AMAZING little boy.  And I'm not just saying that because he's my son.  He's smart.  And funny.  And so cute.  Everyone always talks about what a great kid he is.  And he is.  All of my kids are great.  But Andrew's the one with the most personality.  He's larger than life and he's really hard to forget.

So you can imagine how hard it was to have that talk with him.  The last thing I wanted was for him to think he's a bad person because he has a belly.  Because I've felt that way my whole life.  And I want so much better for him.  I don't want him to question the kind of person that he is.  I don't want people to miss his humor and his unique way of looking at things.  I don't want them to miss how smart he is, and not see how much common sense and "street" sense he has.  Because, let's face it, most people don't take the time to look past what they see on the outside.  And while it's definitely THEY'RE loss, because they won't see what an amazing person he is, it's still not fair to him.

So he and I decided that we're going to start walking together every night.  Just the two of us, and not for very long.  Just a walk around the block.  It'll get us both up and out of our chairs, plus it will give us some time, just the 2 of us to talk about our day. 

But I really wish neither one of us had to worry about these things.  Because honestly?  It really SUCKS!

LAST DAY - SPECIAL MEMORY . . .

One Story Of A Memory You Have

When I was little, some of my favorite memories are of the weeks we used to spend down at Nolin Lake.  We would pack up the cars and trucks, and then head down to the lake for a week of sun, fun and relaxation.  There were usually 4-6 families that went down with us. 

The cabin we stayed in had 2 bedrooms, a sunken family room, a kitchen and dining area, and 1 bathroom.  All of the kids slept in the sunken family room.  The adults used to call it "the pits".  Nice huh?  It also had a nice large deck and was just a short walk down to the water. 

The men used to cook breakfast in the morning, we'd have sandwiches and chips down by the lake for lunch, and then each family would take turns cooking dinner at night.  We'd spend the days on the lake, fishing, skiiing, tubing, and swimming.  At night we'd just hang out and play games.  One of our favorite games to play was spoons.  If you've never played it, you're really missing out!  We used to play it for HOURS.  Here's how it works:  Depending on the number of people playing, you put one less spoon in the middle of the table.  Everyone is dealt 4 cards.  The dealer then pulls out other cards from the deck and discards a card and passes it around.  The goal is to get 4 of a kind.  The first person that gets 4 of a kind tries to grab a spoon without anyone noticing.  Once the first spoon is gone, then it's a free for all, and everyone can grab them.  The person that doesn't get a spoon is out, and you keep playing, taking out a spoon each time you lose a person, until there's only 1 person left standing.  It might not sound like fun, but believe me, when you're 10 and 11, it's A LOT of fun!

Some of my greatest memories are of our times at the lake.  It still brings a smile to my face every time I think about our summers spent down there. 

Now, we go to Rough River Lake because that's where my FIL lives.  We spend almost every weekend down there.  And my kids LOVE it.  And so do we.  Sometimes we go by ourselves, and other times we go down with our friends and their kids.  But no matter who we go with, we always have a good time.  We always look forward to our weekends at the lake.  I'm really glad my kids are able to make some of the same types of memories that I have.

DAY 6: TWO THINGS YOU WANT . . .

Two Things You Want

• I want for my kids to have a good life.  I want them to be happy, but I also want them to be good citizens.  I want them to make good choices.  I want them to be a good influence on the people they meet and come in contact with in their lives.  I want them to leave a positive footprint on the world.  I will ALWAYS be proud of them.  No matter what they do.  But I still want them to grow up to be good and respectful adults.  And I want to know that maybe, just maybe, I had something to do with that!
•  
• I want to stop worrying so much about what other people think of me.  I am who I am.  Warts and all.  And I'm 40 years old.  I'm not just going to wake up tomorrow and be a different person.  So why can't I stop worrying so much about what other people think?

NEW BLOG TITLE - BRUNERPARTYOF5 . . .

I changed the title of the blog, because we're no longer traveling!  It is now 

www.brunerpartyof5.blogspot.com

I hope this doesn't cause too much confusion and that I don't lose the few followers that I have!  ;)

DAY 3 - I MISS YOU . . .

Three Things You Miss

• First and foremost, My Grandma. She's been gone 12 years, and yet some days, she's all I think about. I've been thinking about her a lot lately. I'm not really sure why, but I have. I remember freezing Cokes in cups when Cyndi and I would go stay with her. I remember writing about her all through high school and college. I remember the letters she used to send me while I was in college. I remember the first time I introduced her to Ryan. When my dad called her that evening she told him I was going to marry him. We'd only been dating a couple of months, so I'm not really sure he was happy to hear that! I remember my wedding day. She couldn't come to the wedding because she was sick, but she was living at Mom and Dad's and she got to see me in my wedding gown. She told me how beautiful I looked and how much she loved me. I have SO many happy memories of her. So why do I cry when I think about them?
• 
  
• This is going to sound selfish. But sometimes I miss being single with no kids. I LOVE my husband and kids. But if you're married and have kids, you probably understand where I'm coming from. Remember when you could do WHAT you want, WHEN you want? Not having to check with your spouse to see if they're okay with it. Not worrying about whether or not you have a babysitter. Not being able to just get in the car last minute and do something, even if it's just running to the store for a diet Coke! I wouldn't trade my family for all the money in the world. But sometimes, just sometimes, I miss that freedom.
• 
  
• Believe it or not, China. I LOVE being home. SSOO glad to be home. But there are parts of our year in China that I miss. And I will always miss. I made some great friends. Friends that I saw when I went back and it was like we'd never even been apart. Our style of living was different there. I think it made us closer as a family. We spent more time together. We only had 1 room with a working TV and that room had the satellite, dvd player, and Wii on it. So that's the room we congregated in. We took walks together. We didn't have a car, so we HAD to walk. We walked to the store. We walked to dinner. We walked to school. It was just a different lifestyle. I REALLY miss my Ayi. Not having to clean or do laundry for a year? Let's just say I got pretty spoiled while I was there. And now we're home, and guess who's the Ayi?   You guessed it - ME!   NOT happy about that!
  

DAY 4: WISH I HAD THE COURAGE . . .

Four Things You Wish You Could Say, But Might Never

• I'm not sure what I ever did to you, or why you don't like me, but I'm tired of worrying about it.  I'm sure you have your reasons.  I'm also tired of hearing about how the world is against you.  You get what you give.  Please don't spout to me about friends or family, when it's only convenient for you.  If you aren't going to act like a friend to me, then please don't try to lay a guilt trip on me about how I should act.  I know I don't fit into the "mold" of what you think I should be, but just because I don't look a certain way, it doesn't mean I'm not a good person.  I've spent too many years trying to be someone you would like.  I'm done trying.  If you don't like me, that's YOUR problem.  Not mine.
•  
• I think you're both being goofy.  You've both said things you shouldn't have said.  You've both done things you shouldn't have done.  Now get over it!  I think it's pretty crappy that it's gone on this long.  But honestly, I'm done worrying about it.  And you should be too.  You've both made it very clear that you're never going to forgive each other, which I also think is pretty stupid, so why keep dredging it up?  I do however think it's pretty crappy that 2 grown adults can't be civil to each other.  I've spent most of my kids' lives telling them that they are not going to like everyone they meet, but they at least have to be respectful to everyone, whether they like them or not.  Why is that THEY know that, and you don't?  One more thing, I also think it's pretty crappy that it's affected more than just the two of you.  That's very childish and should NEVER have happened.  
•  
• I love you very much.  But you really hurt my feelings.  And it's not something I'll probably ever forget.  It's been almost 18 months, and it still bothers me.  And when I tried to tell you that it hurt me, all you wanted to do was tell me more things that I did wrong.  I'm not saying what you said was wrong, because it wasn't.  But your timing was awful.  And instead of agreeing that you could have timed it better, you just told me about other things I've done to disappoint you.  How would you have felt if that was the last time you saw me?  What if something had happened to the plane I was on?  Is that REALLY the last thing you wanted me to remember? I spent the whole plane ride thinking about what a disappointment I am and that if something happened to the plane, at least I wouldn't be a disappointment anymore. 
•  
• Sometimes you make me SO angry.  I don't feel like you respect my feelings.  I feel like I have to justify so many things I do and I have to censor a lot of the things that come out of my mouth.  Just because we don't like the same things doesn't mean my things are stupid.  They're just different.  So why do you have to keep making fun of them?  Why can't you just accept that we are different?  I don't make fun of the things you like.  Why can't you respect me enough to do the same?

PYHO: DEPRESSION: WHEN IT HAPPENS TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE . . .

I'm pretty sure I've never talked about this on here before.  For a long time, I never talked to anyone about it.  It was too heartbreaking.  And scary.  But recently, someone I care very much about has been having the same type of problems, and it's brought all of the memories flooding back. 

In September of 1998, I lost the best friend I've ever had.  My Grandma.  She meant the world to me.  And then suddenly she was gone.  And I was lost.  Then, the next month, after trying for almost a year, we found out I was pregnant with Jason.  Then, the NEXT month, my husband started experiencing SEVERE depression.  A lot of things happened all at once, and I think it just HIT him, pretty hard.  And he kept spiraling out of control, and there was nothing I could do to help him.  I was working full-time in customer service.  And I went from answering almost 400 calls a day, to being lucky to answer 100.  Because I was on the phone with him.  All day.  Every day.  He was crying all of the time.  I was crying all of the time because I didn't know how to help him.

I have a degree in Psychology.  I'm supposed to KNOW, at least a little bit, what I should be doing for him.  But I didn't.  I was clueless.  And he didn't want anyone to know what was going on.  So for awhile, it was just him and I trying to fight this battle alone.  Finally, after a few weeks he decided that we needed to tell my parents, because *I* needed someone that I could go to.  So we told them.  And as usual, they were very supportive.  Of both of us.  The day I married Ryan, he became a part of their family.  No questions asked.  I'm sure they thought we weren't "right" for each other.  Every parent questions the person their child is going to marry, right?  But they knew I loved him, and that was all that mattered to them.  So he became their other son.  And they were SO great.  Not only were they worried about me, but they worried about him too.  I'm not sure I ever thanked them for that.  So just in case I didn't, thanks Mom and Dad.  You helped me more than you'll ever know.

He finally started meeting with a Psychiatrist, to put him on medicine, and a Psychologist to talk to her about his feelings.  And let me be clear, in my opinion, one does not work, without the other.  IF you have severe enough depression, you NEED medicine.  But you also need the counseling.  (Even if you think you're a "big tough man" that doesn't need to talk about your "feelings", YOU'RE WRONG!!!  It's your feelings that got you here in the first place).  He started "intense" group therapy that he went to every day for about 4 hours a day.  He continued meeting with the counselor, I met with the counselor, and he continued meeting with the Psychiatrist until they found the right combination of medicine to help him through it.  This process was still going on even after Jason was born.  There is no "quick fix."  (There was a lot more than that, but this post isn't really about the "act" of the depression, it's about what it's like for the other person).  

We had a really tough few months.  Months where I wondered if he was going to get out of bed the next day.  Months where I wondered if *I* was going to get out of bed the next day, because I was so drained.  And so exhausted.  And I went through all of the emotions.  For a long time, I was so ANGRY with him.  Here I was, pregnant with our first child.  This was supposed to be such a happy time.  And I couldn't really focus on it, because I was so worried about him.  How could he be so selfish?!  (I never said I was thinking rationally.  I WAS pregnant after all)!  And I was sad.  And I cried a lot.

I don't know what he went through.  And honestly, I don't WANT to know what he went through.  But he doesn't know what I went through either.  I know it's harder being on his end, but it's not easy being on my end.  I saw the person I love turning into someone I'd never seen before.  He's always been more of a "glass half empty" person than me, but this was more than that.  This was the glass is empty and I can never fill it again!  And I was useless.  I couldn't "fix" it.  And I should have been able to.  Why couldn't I fix it?  Why wasn't I smart enough and aware enough to see it coming?  He cried all the time.  I cried all the time.  I honestly didn't know how to help him.  I TRIED being supportive.  But then I just got frustrated.  I kept thinking, why can't he see the GOOD things?  Why does he have to keep focusing on the negative?

I am 40 years old.  And to this day, that experience is the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life.  He talks every once in awhile about going off the medicine because he thinks he's better now.  And he may be.  But honestly?  I'm not willing to take that chance.  I can't, and I WON'T go through that again.  We KNOW what it's like.  And we know that him being on the medicine keeps it from happening.  So why tempt fate?  Why mess with a good thing?  I won't do it.  We have 3 kids now.  Three kids that are amazing and smart and funny and our whole world.  Why mess with that?  I already thought I was going to lose him once.  I'm not going to do it again.

DAY 3: MY FAVORITE SONGS . . .

Five Songs You Like

I already posted a few songs I like, so I'll post five DIFFERENT ones this time.

1. I Believe
2. Butterfly Kisses
3. The Climb
4. Right Field
5. Loser Like Me

DAY 2: HOW MANY THINGS DO YOU LOVE?!

Six Things You Love

(I'm going to cheat a little)!

1. Ryan
2. Jason, Andrew, Sarah Beth
3. Mom, Dad and Scott
4. My friends
5. My family
6. Being a Mom

A NEW CHALLENGE . . .

I sort of spaced out on the last challenge and didn't finish the last few days.  But in my defense, we were in China and then the kids were on Spring Break, so things got a little hectic!  Anyway, I liked the idea of doing the Challenge, because it gave me something to write about everyday.  So I found another one to do.  And after this one is over, I might even find ANOTHER one! 

So here's this one.  This one is a 7 Day Challenge.

Day 1 - Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day 2 - Six things you love.
Day 3 - Five songs you like.
Day 4 - Four things you wish you could say, but might never.
Day 5 - Three things you miss.
Day 6 - Two things you want.
Day 7 - One story of a memory you have.

 

I'll go ahead and start Day 1 since it's been so long since I've written anything.

 

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

1. Ryan and the kids.
2. My parents and my brother.
3. My wonderful friends.
4. My amazing Grandma and how much I miss her.
5. Wishing I would win the lottery so I could do WHAT I want, WHEN I want, with no concern about how much it costs.
6. Being thankful that I have such amazing people in my life that love me just as I am.
7. Wishing I was a Size 2.

DAY 27 - GOT STRESS?

Something That Stresses You Out

I'm not the greatest housekeeper.  I'll be the first to admit it.  I hate cleaning house because with 3 kids, it never stays that way.  It's very frustrating.  So sometimes I let the "clutter" build up so I don't have to deal with it.  But eventually, I do.  And it's very overwhelming.  I look at all that clutter, and I don't know where to begin.  I try to work on it in steps, but it's still overwhelming.  Take Sarah's room.  I've been cleaning out her closet, bringing out the Spring/Summer clothes, putting away the clothes that will still fit her next Fall/Winter, and then bagging up the ones that are too small and will go in the yard sale.  I've pretty much gotten her closet cleaned out, but I had to quit when I got to her room.  After cleaning the boys' rooms yesterday and putting all of her stuff that was found in THEIR rooms, back into her room, I have about 3 tubs of things to go through and sort.  And I'd had enough.  So I'll work on it again later today or tomorrow.

Now, if I was a SMART person, I'd never let it get so cluttered.  But, keep in mind, this is ME we're talking about.  I'm unorganized, lazy and hate cleaning.  Oh, and I'm 40.  And I've always been this way.  NOT just going to wake up tomorrow and TA-DA I'm an organized and amazing housekeeper.  I have a greater chance of winning the lottery.  Which, come to think of it, wouldn't be so bad, because then I could PAY someone to be organized and clean for me.  Now THAT would be AWESOME!!!

DAY 26 - WHAT BEAUTIFUL PICTURES . . .

(I know I've been MIA for a few days.  I've been in Shanghai for the last 2 weeks, and I got busy with shopping, foot massages, and catching up with my friends.  I had a great time.  I'll post more about that later).  

Day 25: Your Dream Wedding

Since I'm already married, and had my dream wedding, I'm just skipping this one.  It's been almost 15 years.  That was MANY years ago!  ;)

Day 26:  Original Photo Of The City You Live In

I live in Louisville, Kentucky.  And while I LOVE it here, it's not as pretty as Shanghai, China, where we lived last year.  So I decided to post some pictures of Shanghai instead.

 This is a common site in Shanghai.  The first couple of times we saw things like this we were amazed.  By the time we left, it didn't even faze us!

 This is the Pearl Tower.  A famous building in Shanghai.

 This is the Huangpu River.  It divides Pudong and Puxi.  We lived in Pudong.  This is taken from the Puxi side. 

 The building on the left is the JinMao Tower.  The one on the right is the World Financial Center.  These are also 2 famous towers in Shanghai as well as around the world.  The WFC is the 3rd tallest building in the world.

 Another view of Jin Mao and World Financial Center.

This was taken from the Pudong side.  We are looking at Puxi. 

DAY 25 - MUSIC IN MY LIFE . . .

Put Your IPod On Shuffle; First 10 Songs

First, I don't have an iPod.  I do have music on my phone, but no iPod.  I would LOVE an iPad though.  Honey, are you listening?  Maybe for Mother's Day?  I'm worth it, right?!

Anyway, I decided to change it up a little bit again today.  Instead of telling you the first 10 songs on my iPod/iPad, since I don't HAVE one, *coughing*, I thought I'd tell you *5* of my favorite songs, and why.  So here they are, in no particular order.

WIND BENEATH MY WINGS 

I've told you before about my Grandma.  She was AMAZING.  And this song is HER song.  It will always be her song.  I can't hear it without thinking of her.  And of course, I cry every time.  As a matter of fact, I cried just watching the video.  I'm so thankful that God gave her to me.  She taught me how to love unconditionally.  She taught me that there's more to a person than just what you see on the outside.  She taught me to make time for the people in your life that are important.  And most importantly.  She loved me.  For me.  Even with all of my flaws, she still loved me and thought I was beautiful. 

UNBORN HEART

I remember the night we found out I was pregnant with Jason.  It was right around our 2nd anniversary.  His parents had taken us out to dinner for our anniversary.  We told his parents at dinner, and then we stopped by my parents on the way home.  After we told them and while I was on the way home, this song came on the radio.  It was the first time I'd ever heard it.  And I bawled like a baby.  It's a beautiful song, with beautiful lyrics, about a beautiful subject.  What's there NOT to like?

DEFYING GRAVITY

This song is originally for the show WICKED, I believe.  But I first heard it on GLEE and fell in love with it right away.  To me, it's about ignoring what others think and doing what's important to you.  It's about standing up for ME.  It's about worrying less about what YOU think, and more about what I think.  I don't mean that in a bad way.  Let me explain.  I've spent most of my life worrying about what people think of me.  Do they like me?  If not, why?  What did I do or say wrong?  But now, I'm starting to realize that it's okay if you don't like me.  Not everyone is going to.  And maybe, just maybe, it's YOU and not ME.  Just because you don't like me doesn't necessarily mean there's something wrong with ME.  Sometimes people click.  And sometimes they don't.  And that's okay.  But I need to stop second guessing everyone and everything.  I need to start accepting ME for ME. 

FRIENDS

There's actually a funny story behind this one.  I first heard this in college while on a "retreat".  The day I got back I got a letter from my childhood best friend.  At the end of the letter she had written, "Friends Are Friends Forever, If The Lord's The Lord Of Them."  How appropriate?  Sometimes we have to say good bye to our friends.  But that doesn't mean they're no longer our friends.  Every friend we have during our lifetime shapes the person that we are today.

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL

I've told you before that I don't go to church.  But that DOESN'T mean I don't believe in God.  I very much do.  He's helped me through some very trying times.  I think sometimes, we just have to let go.  Sometimes we just have to God take us through things.  As much as we'd like to, we can't control everything.  And that's not necessarily a bad thing.  My hardest times in life, I've just had to let go and have the faith that God would help me through it.  And so far?  He hasn't let me down!

Now it's your turn.  Are there any particular songs that are important to you?  If so, what are they and why are they important?

GO CATS!!!!

You guys should know by now that I'm from Kentucky.  And I was raised a Kentucky fan.  I married a Louisville fan, but I will ALWAYS be a Kentucky fan.  Well guess what?  My Kentucky Wildcats are in the Elite Eight of the NCAA Tournament.  And I got to see the last game, even though we're in China.  We went to a bar here and watched it.  At 9:45 in the morning.  And yes, we had a few beers.  Guess what else?  I was the only UK fan in there.  But you know what?  I was also the only one that left there happy!  So I guess now I'll have to get up at 5:30 in the morning tomorrow morning to watch the game.  On the computer.  Not as great as being at home watching it, but at least I'll get to watch it.  And Dad?  If they win tomorrow and make it to the Final Four, I'll be tagging along with you to watch it.  Because watching UK games is always more fun when I'm watching them with you!  GO CATS!!!!

DAY 24 - TOO OLD TO LEARN?

Something You've Learned

I'm 40 years old ya'll.  I'm too OLD to learn anything new!  And yet, new things just keep coming up.  But I think the greatest thing I've learned is that sometimes what seems like the worst thing possible, can actually be a good thing.  Now, before you think I'm getting all preachy, let me explain.  

Less than 2 years ago, we found out we were going to have to move.  TO CHINA!!!  Here's how it all went down.  We found out on a Monday that we were being transferred.  And guess what?  We were on vacation that week.  We arrived home the following Monday.  Exactly 4 weeks and 1 day later, we left for China.  In that 29 days we had to find a school in Shanghai for the kids.  Find a place to live.  PACK.  Get their transcripts from their school in Kentucky to send to China. Get all 3 of them Passports and Visas.  Get OUR Visas.  PACK.  Get the house ready to be empty for a year.  PACK.  You get the picture?  

And to say I went kicking and screaming would be an understatement.  You see, I'm VERY close to my family.  And I may only have a *few* friends, but the ones I do have are very special to me and I'm very close to them.  And the thought of leaving all of that behind?  Even though it was only for a year?  It broke my heart.  And it scared the sh*t out of me.  And I cried.  A LOT.  I cried before we left.  I cried on the plane.  I cried when we got here.  It's a wonder I had any tears left I did so much crying. 

But then, guess what?  After what seemed like a REALLY long time, I started to enjoy my time here.  We saw things we'd never have seen if we stayed home.  Ya'll I'm a Kentucky girl.  (Hence the ya'll thrown in there!)  And I'll ALWAYS be a Kentucky girl.  I have no dreams of life in the big city.  Louisville is my home.  It always will be.  So I don't plan on living anywhere else.  This was my opportunity to see new things, visit new places, meet new people, experience a new culture, and then after a year, go back home.  To MY home.  And plant my big fat butt there and feel good that I got out, but now I'm home.

And we had an AMAZING year.  We lived in Shanghai.  We traveled to Beijing, Hong Kong, and Xi'an.  We became closer as a family.  We spent more time together.  We did new things together.  We experienced a new culture.  Together.  We tried new foods.  Together.  We got to share our life with Ryan's Grandfather and my parents.  They never would have had the opportunity, or even the desire most likely, to travel to some place like China.  But because we were here, they were able to enjoy it with us.  And I think they DID enjoy it. 

So yeah, while I'm very glad to be home, I'm also very thankful that I learned a new lesson.  And I'm very grateful that I got to experience things most people only dream about.  And maybe, just maybe, the next time something seems like a REALLY bad thing, I'll look back on this and realize that it might end up being one of the best experiences of my life. 

What have YOU learned lately?

DAY 23 - CHANGING IT UP A LITTLE . . .

Favorite Quote

Today was supposed to be Favorite Movie, but that was already asked and answered early on, so I'm changing it up a bit.  I've decided to tell you my favorite quote.  I first heard this back when I was in high school, and it's stuck with me all these years.  (And believe me, I've been out of high school for MANY years)! 

Anyway.  You guys remember "The Facts Of Life"?  Well I used to love that show.  (Go ahead, get your laughs out now).  Towards the end of the show they were all grown up.  Jo met this guy at the community center she worked at.  And he thought he was going to die on his 30th birthday.  (I think all his male family members had done the same thing, or something like that).  So he was very carefree and didn't worry about getting hurt because he thought he wasn't going to live very long anyway.  And he was becoming a bad influence on some kid they knew.  Of course his birthday came and went and he was still alive.  So he was talking to the kid about enjoying life, no matter how long it lasts, and he told him

LIFE IS NOT A DRESS REHEARSAL.  IT IS A ONE AND ONLY PERFORMANCE.  SO YOU LIVE LIFE LIKE YOU'RE GONNA LIVE.  NOT LIKE YOU'RE GONNA DIE.

That quote really stuck with me.  And it still does.  Yeah, life sucks sometimes.  But sometimes. It doesn't.  Sometimes it's AWESOME.  But either way, you only get one life.  So why not make the best of it?  Why not enjoy it while you can?  Instead of spending all of your time thinking about what's WRONG with your life, why not enjoy and appreciate what's RIGHT with it?   Because you know what?  There are no do overs.  This is it.  Enjoy it.  Embrace it.  Live it to the fullest.  Do the things you want to do.  Enjoy the things you enjoy.  Don't worry so much about what other people think.  (Great advice Michelle.  Why don't you listen to yourself more often?!)  Because one day?  One day, it'll be gone.  And there's no going back.

There's another saying I heard that fits along the same lines.  Basically it's this:  When we die our tombstones will say 1970-?.  It's not the years on the end that matter.  It's the dash in between.  What does YOUR dash say about you?

DAY 22 - WHAT'S IN *YOUR* WALLET?

What's In Your Purse?

My purse is actually pretty clean right now because I cleaned it out before heading to Shanghai.  Right now in my purse I have lipstick, pain pills for my migraines, my wallet, camera, US cell phone and headphones (it has all of my music on it), a pen and small pad of paper.  Usually when I'm at home I carry a much larger purse, but here I'm carrying a smaller one.  The purse I'm carrying right now is THIS ONE.  Same pattern and everything.  I also have the Onyx Medallion that I like, but this one makes me think of Spring, and since I'm ready for the cold weather to disappear, I like this one.  Before we left I was carrying THIS ONE.  I like this one because it's big enough to fit my calendar in it, so that I always have it with me.  (Remember, I'm trying to be organized this year)!  ;)

PYHO: MARRIAGE ISN'T ALWAYS EASY . . .

Okay.  I read another article that got my blood boiling a little.  And you know how I am when I read something that ticks me off!  You can read that article HERE.  Take a few minutes to read it.  You need to in order to understand where this post is coming from.  Go ahead.  I'll wait.  *Jeopardy Theme*

Okay, now MY thoughts.  I think she's TOTALLY off base.  And I think she's doing a great disservice to marriage.  ". . .a joy almost every day to be married, to feel relief and gratitude, and if it isn't you're in the wrong marriage."  REALLY?  With the high divorce rate in today's society, why would you SAY something like that?  OUT LOUD?!  On purpose?  'Oh man, my marriage isn't like that, so I guess that means I'm in the wrong marriage and I should just get out.'  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?!  

Now don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying marriage should be HARD.  But it's not easy either.  You have 2 different people, from 2 different backgrounds, with 2  different sets of life long experiences.  THEY ARE NOT THE SAME PERSON.  I remember my Mom telling me once that if you're in a relationship with someone, whether it's a friendship, dating, or marriage, and you never fight, then someone's not being honest.  Because you are 2 different people, and you are going to have 2 different opinions on things.  AND THAT'S OKAY.  It's what makes life interesting.  Can you imagine if we were all the same person and liked the same things and did the same things?  How boring would that be?

I love my husband.  I really do.  But I can honestly tell you that we go through stages where I don't like him very much.  And I know he feels the same way.  But that's a part of marriage.  But we also go through stages where we KNOW how lucky we are to have each other.  It's part of living with someone every day.  It's not easy raising kids either.  Does that mean I should just walk away from them?  Shouldn't raising kids be "a joy everyday"?  Again, I love my kids.  But it's not easy.  And it's not always a joy.  But does that mean I should just walk away from them?  NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.  So why would you say the same thing about being married?  Shouldn't we have the same love and respect for our spouses that we do for our children?  I don't get it.  Marriage is hard enough without having someone tell you that you are in a crappy marriage because you have to "work" at it.  

What right do you have to tell me how my marriage should or shouldn't be?  How do you know I'm not happy?  I have a husband that works hard.  He ADORES our children.  He's a great father.  He's USUALLY, (*winking*) a good husband.  He loves me.  He loves our kids.  He loves me even though I'm not a super model.  He loves me even though we don't like any of the same music.  He loves me even though we don't even like the same teams. (Go CATS)!  We come from TOTALLY different backgrounds.  So yeah, we're different.  And yeah, sometimes we have to work at it.  But sometimes we don't.  Sometimes we just "get" each other.  Sometimes it feels like we just met and are still infatuated with each other.  Other times it feels like we've been together forever and we're comfortable and enjoy each others' company.  Sometimes we're each others' best friend.

  

But is it always easy?  No.  Is it sometimes?  Sure.  But not always.  Do I think we should get a divorce because it's NOT easy?  REALLY?  I'm not a child.  Those idealistic views don't exist anymore.  Because I've experienced life.  I know life isn't always wine and roses.  Sometimes life sucks.  And sometimes it's amazing.  But ALWAYS it's worth it.  And I will tell my kids the same thing.  But I will NEVER tell them that if they have to "work" at it, then they are in the wrong marriage.  I want them to know that yeah, sometimes it is hard.  But you know what?  NOT being together?  That would be SO much harder.

If you are in a marriage and you are unhappy all of the time, please know that I am not saying you should stay in that marriage if it's unhealthy for you.  Sometimes, marriage doesn't work.  I get that.  But that's not what this article was about, and I am referring to that article. 

DAY 21 - I HATE PICTURES!!!

Favorite Picture Of Yourself All Time.  Why?

I honestly don't think I have a picture that I like.  I'm sure there are a few from when I was a child.  I remember seeing one of me and my grandma for my First Communion.  And you all know how I feel about her.  So that's a great picture that I remember.  There are also a couple of cute pictures of my brother and I when we were kids.  But other than that, I don't like any of my pictures.  Sucks, huh?!

DAY 20 - HOW MANY NAMES DO YOU GO BY?

Nicknames

I have a lot of different names.  Some of them probably shouldn't be repeated here!  :)

My dad used to call me Little Bits.  He actually still does sometimes, although now it's typically just Bits.  He calls Sarah Beth Little Bits, and it makes me smile every time.  

My best friend when I was younger used to call me 'Chelle.  She still does, although we don't talk much anymore.  But my best friend from high school, she still calls me that.  

My college roommate starting calling me Mich.  That one pretty much stuck.  She and her husband still call me that; not sure the last time either one of them called me Michelle.  That's why I started signing everything Mich.  (Pronounced Meesh).  

Then of course there's Mommy, Mom, Shelly.  I'm sure there are quite a few others out there, but Mommy will ALWAYS be my favorite!

DAY 19 - ANYBODY LOOKING FOR A JOB?

This post is a day late because I was traveling all day yesterday.

Something You Miss

It took me about 1/2 a second to come up with this one!  Most of you know that we lived in China for a year.  I've talked about that a lot.  But one thing you may not know is that while we lived there we had someone that worked for us, 40 hours a week, cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, babysitting.  The best part?  It only cost us about $300 USD a month.  Needless to say, I got very spoiled by that.  I miss that EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  

So, if you're in the market for a full time job, and you will work for $300 a month, please let me know!  :)

DAY 18 - MEXICAN . . .

Favorite Place To Eat

I LOVE Mexican.  I could pretty much eat Mexican food every day of the week.  In China, Mexican restaurants were EXTREMELY hard to find.  And I missed it.  But I cooked Mexican at home a lot, because we all like it.  One of my favorite Mexican restaurants used to be On The Border, but they closed it while we were gone.  They've since opened a new place called Chuey's, and it's really good.  But Tumbleweed will probably always be my favorite.  My kids love it there too, especially Andrew.  They get to pick where they want to go to dinner for their birthday, and he always picks Tumbleweed. 

DAY 17 - CHINA ANYONE?

Something You're Looking Forward To

Most of you know that we lived in China last year.  Ryan has to go back occasionally for work.  Next week is one of those times.  This time, I'm going with him.  A lot of my friends are still there, so I'm looking forward to visiting with them and catching up.  Oh, and shopping and massages, of course!

While I'm looking forward to it, I'm also starting to get a little antsy.  We will be gone for 12 days, and we're not taking the kids.  It's just Ryan and I.  The kids will be staying with my parents.  For 12 days.  I've never been away from them that long.  12 days.  That's a long time.  Did I mention it's 12 days?

But yes, I am looking forward to it.  It'll be fun spending time with my friends.  Getting massages.  Going shopping.  Seeing the sites.  So yeah, I'm looking forward to it.  I'm just a little nervous about it being so long.  I hope they don't forget me.  I hope they don't get too homesick.  I hope *I* don't get too homesick.  

Wish us luck!

PYHO: OPERATION: PARENT . . .

Hi, my name is Michelle.  And I'm a Mom.  I LOVE being a Mom.  But if I'm being honest, it scares the holy hell out of me.  (Sorry, I gave up cussing for Lent, but since I TYPED that instead of SAYING it, I'm hoping it doesn't count)!  :)

My oldest is now 11; soon to be 12.  He's in 6th grade.  And he just had his first girlfriend a couple of weeks ago.  Now he's on girlfriend number 2.  No, he's not a "player", I just think this is all new to him and he's still trying to figure it out himself.  His first girlfriend was a neighbor that he was friends with first.  That didn't last long.  After they started "dating", they stopped talking to each other!  It was actually quite comical.  Anyway, his new girlfriend is someone at school.  At least he THINKS she's his girlfriend.  He said she's hugged him 8 times, (yes, he's obviously been counting), and his friends and her friends say they're "dating."  Keep in mind.  He's 11.  And in 6th grade.  And he only sees her in school.  My friend calls it a "business hours only" relationship.  And I'm okay with that.  Plus, I'm thinking based on how long the first one lasted, this one probably won't last too long either. 

But the point is, this is all new to me.  He's my oldest.  So I'm just now starting to experience these things.  And the first girlfriend freaked me out pretty bad.  Not because I don't like her.  I actually ADORE her, and her mom is a very good friend of mine.  But it freaked me out because it was all new to me, and I honestly didn't know what to expect and what was going to happen next.  Now I know that they last about 2-4 weeks at this age.  This time, I didn't freak out too much.  Plus, with her being at school, it's not like he will see her any other time.  I asked him what "going out" meant, and where he thought they were "going."  His response?  I don't know.  So yeah, I'm a little less stressed about this girlfriend than I was about the first one.

But this is just the beginning.  I know things are going to get more complicated and be more difficult to deal with.  So how do I handle these situations?  What do I do?  Do I freak out?  Do I pretend like it's no big deal?  I DON'T KNOW!!!  Enter Operation: Parent.  They came and talked to us during one of our PTA meetings.  This is their Mission Statement:  "Supportive Parents Involved In Raising Incredible Teens"  Their flier says:  Operation: PARENT is on a mission to educate, encourage and engage parents of teenagers!  We are dedicated to parents who need a little help and encouragement to stay connected to their teen during the challenging middle and high school years.

It started with one mother.  She has 5 kids.  And she felt like she was missing the boat and not doing the things she should be doing.  So she went and talked to her high school principal, and it just evolved and took flight from there.  In Oldham County.  And now they're bringing it to Jefferson County and they are also in Florida. 

And now we are bringing it to our middle school.  Another parent and I are taking the class starting next month, and then in the next school year we will start facilitating the classes.  I'm very excited about it.  I don't know what to do.  Like I said, this is all new to me.  I'm looking forward to interacting with other parents and finding out that maybe I'm not such a bad parent after all.  Maybe I AM making the right decisions and doing the right things for my kids.  There are so many issues out there now that kids have to deal with, that we never did.  How do we handle those situations?  What do we do if and when they come up?  I'm hoping Operation: Parent can help with that. 

One thing I do know for sure - I LOVE my kids.  And I want to do what's best for them.  And maybe that's not the same thing you would do.  But that's okay.  Because we are different.  Our KIDS are different.  But I want my kids to know that I am here for them.  I want them to know they can come and talk to me about anything and everything.  I might not always agree with them, but I still want them to be able to share with me.  And I want to not freak out about every little thing that happens.  Because it's going to happen.  Like or not.  So I need to know how to react when it does.  And I need to be aware of what "it" might be.  

Why can't they just stay 3 forever?!