Wednesday, May 4, 2011

PYHO: THE THINGS WE PASS ON TO OUR CHILDREN . . .



I have three BEAUTIFUL children.  Jason will be 12 next month, Andrew is 9 1/2 and Sarah Beth will be 4 in August.  I've written a lot about my weight and about how much it bothers me.  I wish I could change it, but I'm lazy and I've been overweight as long as I can remember, so I guess I just figure it is what it is.  

But now, it's affecting my child.  Jason and Sarah are little.  They always have been.  But Andrew is built more like me and he has a belly.  And he's the least active of my 3 kids.  Whenever the kids are outside playing, he's the first one to tire out.  He's the first one to come inside because he's tired of playing.  He's the first one to give up when they're playing tag and running around the neighborhood.  

And because Ryan and I are both overweight, we're worried about HIS weight.  I don't want him to go through his whole life thinking he's not a good person because he's fat.  I don't want him to worry about what other people think about the way he looks.  He went to a swim party the other day and he wouldn't get in the pool without a shirt on because he was worried about his belly.  AND I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT!

So the other night we talked to him about making better choices in what he eats and playing outside more.  And it broke my heart.  Because I know he gets this problem from me.  And it really sucks.  I told him that I would love him even if he had 3 heads and that it's not just about the way he looks, but it's about being healthy.  You guys don't know Andrew.  He's an AMAZING little boy.  And I'm not just saying that because he's my son.  He's smart.  And funny.  And so cute.  Everyone always talks about what a great kid he is.  And he is.  All of my kids are great.  But Andrew's the one with the most personality.  He's larger than life and he's really hard to forget.

So you can imagine how hard it was to have that talk with him.  The last thing I wanted was for him to think he's a bad person because he has a belly.  Because I've felt that way my whole life.  And I want so much better for him.  I don't want him to question the kind of person that he is.  I don't want people to miss his humor and his unique way of looking at things.  I don't want them to miss how smart he is, and not see how much common sense and "street" sense he has.  Because, let's face it, most people don't take the time to look past what they see on the outside.  And while it's definitely THEY'RE loss, because they won't see what an amazing person he is, it's still not fair to him.

So he and I decided that we're going to start walking together every night.  Just the two of us, and not for very long.  Just a walk around the block.  It'll get us both up and out of our chairs, plus it will give us some time, just the 2 of us to talk about our day. 

But I really wish neither one of us had to worry about these things.  Because honestly?  It really SUCKS!

6 comments:

Shell said...

It sounds like you are doing something great about it, though- even if it does suck to have to think about it in the first place!

cassee01 said...

I admire you so much for taking this step - and this way you both are getting healthier - way to model mom!!!

Kim said...

You captured me Mich. I think about this all the time. My kids are very small still but both me and Shaune aren't exactly athletes. I think it's the hardest thing about parenting, the realization that you can talk all you want but that what you do is what they really learn. What a wonderful, wonderful mother you are to have this kind of awareness, and to love him so fiercely that you are willing to make changes just so he can go through life a bit easier. I loved this post. And it is really well written.

Celia said...

aww at the very least you get time with each other. eating healthier is so hard! every-time i try to cook healthier meals my fiance tells me i am punishing him!

good luck to you both :)

Miranda said...

Good for you for talking about it with him - the most important thing is that he does not feel bad about any of this. He is so young still! Have fun walking, I just started again today too. #commenthour

Melody said...

It's more fun too when you have someone to take walks with or go for a bike ride, etc. I think staying active is the key. Great job mom!