Thursday, August 30, 2012

PYHO: Can A Boy Be TOO Sensitive?

I have an AMAZING little boy.  I actually have 2 boys and 1 girl, and they're all great.  And I love them dearly.  But Andrew, my 10 year old, is a little different.  He's very sensitive.  About EVERYTHING.  My husband and I "clash" sometimes because he thinks he's TOO sensitive.  He says he needs to "man" up and get some back bone.  I think there's no such thing as TOO sensitive.  I think he's only 10, and he'll grow up fast enough, so there's nothing wrong with him being sensitive at this age.  I WANT him to stay sensitive.  I think he'll make a great boyfriend/husband one day BECAUSE of his sensitivity.  (Mind you, I'm thinking MANY, MANY YEARS from now.  He is only 10 after all). ;)

But I still worry about him.  What if hubby is right?  What if he IS too sensitive?  He has VERY little self-esteem.  He's constantly worrying about what other people think of him.  He gets his feelings hurt VERY easily.  Sometimes I feel like I have to censor what I say to him because I don't know how he's going to take it, and I don't want to upset him.  So in that respect, maybe he IS too sensitive.  But that's his nature.  It's his personality.  It's a part of who he is, and I don't want to change who he is, because he is SO special.  But I still worry.  He's the one I think will get bullied.  He HAS been bullied on the bus, and I had to go to the school counselor to help handle the situation.  And he did.  But he can't always be there for him.  Next year, he moves on to middle school.  Next year kids are going to be even meaner.  And crueler.  And looking for someone they can pick on.  And he's an easy target because he wears his heart on his sleeve.  If you say something to upset him, you can see it on his face immediately.  And bullies will jump on that.  I've tried telling him to act like it doesn't bother him, but he's not very good at it.  And who can blame him?  I'm not good at it either and I'm 42.  How can I expect HIM to be good at it when he's only 10?  

You see, I GET my son.  I KNOW what he's thinking and how he's feeling, because I've BEEN there.  I was just like him.  Hell, I'm STILL just like him.  I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I get my feelings hurt VERY easily.  I shut down when I'm hurt or upset.  I second guess everything I do and say to other people.  I analyze the things people say to me and wonder what they REALLY meant.  I assume people are talking about me.  And don't like me.  I assume people would rather be with anyone BUT me.  So yeah, I GET him.  I KNOW where he's coming from.  

But I still wonder - is there such a thing as TOO sensitive?  Is it different for a boy?  And if so, how do you change that?  How do you help them get a thicker skin?  What would you do if it was YOUR kid?  I really need to know.  Because I DON'T know what to do.  And I HATE seeing my "baby" doubt himself and be in pain all of the time.  So how do I help him?  CAN I help him?

My Special Little Boy


Sunday, August 26, 2012

Sending My Baby Off To Kindergarten . . .

My baby girl started Kindergarten last week.  And she did GREAT!  She couldn't WAIT to get on the bus.  Me, I had a little harder time.  :(  She's my last child.  The only girl.  The last one to start school.  I've had a child with me for 13 years.  So yeah, her starting was hard.  But I'm REALLY glad she did.  She is LOVING it.  She's been around Tully her whole life, so for her to finally be able to go to school there is a lot of fun for her.  I just hope she has a great year.  I think she will.  She has an AMAZING teacher.  

But I still can't believe my baby girl is starting Kindergarten.  I can't believe Jason is in 8th grade.  Man, do I feel old!  After this year I'll have Jason in High School, Andrew in Middle School, and Sarah Beth in Elementary School.  I guess I'll lose whatever sanity I have left! 

So now we're in school mode.  Let's hope we have a great year.  For all of us!

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Ryan's Grandpa . . .

Ryan's grandpa, Jack, is an AMAZING man.  I love him dearly.  From the very beginning, he's never made feel like anything less than part of the family.  He's one person who always made me feel welcome in the family.  He's almost 86.  And unfortunately he's not doing very well.  And that breaks my heart beyond belief.  He lost his best friend about 4 or 5 months ago, and I think that really did him in.  He's been different ever since.  He's lost a lot in the last few years, his wife, 2 children, and now his best friend.  I think that's more than anyone can take in a lifetime. 

July 5th he fell down his basement stairs and dislocated his shoulder and cut his eye.  Ever since then he's just not doing well.  It seems like every time we see him he looks worse.  I think he has some major depression settling in.  And I think he's just tired.  Tired of being by himself.  Tired of losing the people he loves.  Tired of not being able to take care of himself.  I think he's just plain tired.   And I don't know how we help him.  We were going up to see him every weekend, he lives about 2 hours away, but honestly, I think all of us being there, there are FIVE of us after all, just wore him out more.  So last weekend Ryan went by himself.  And this weekend we're not going at all.  His daughter and granddaughter are both going to be there this weekend.  But I still feel guilty.  I feel like we should go up there to see him more often, but with 3 kids, Ryan's work schedule, and my work schedule, it's just not easy.  

But I hope he knows how much we love him and how much he means to us, even if we're not there all of the time.  I THINK he does.  But you never know. 

I never knew either one of my Grandfather's, so he's the only Grandfather I've ever had.  And he is an AMAZING man.  I honestly don't think I could love him anymore if he WAS my real grandfather.  I ADORE him.  I love talking to him.  I love spending time with him.  I love hearing his stories of the past.  I just love him.  EVERYTHING about him.  And the thought that we might be losing him soon breaks my heart more than I can even explain.

 Grandpa, Ryan, Jason, Andrew and Sarah Beth the weekend before we moved to China.

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

PYHO: Chick Fil-A . . .

This whole Chick Fil-A thing has really been bothering me.  I've been thinking about posting something about it, but I know both sides of the argument are REALLY hyped up and I didn't want to start any wars.  But the more I think about it, the more it bothers me. 

I'm married with 3 children and I can honestly say I've never been attracted to another woman.  I'm just NOT.  But I don't necessarily think it's WRONG, it just doesn't apply to me.  The same way some people go to church every day.  I don't do that.  Others exercise every day.  I OBVIOUSLY don't do that, although I definitely SHOULD.  Some people choose to homeschool their children, again, not for me.  Do I think it's "wrong"?  No.  Can I give you reasons why *I* wouldn't do it?  Absolutely.  And yet, there are hundreds of thousands of people homeschooling their children.  I was raised Catholic.  I have friends that are Lutheran, Baptist, even some that are agnostic.  But that doesn't make me love them any less.  Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, but it's just that, THEIR BELIEFS!  As long as you don't try to MAKE me agree with you, then I'm fine with it.  I know a lot of people are quoting the Bible and saying it's Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve.  (BTW, that cracks me up every time I hear it).  But ask yourself this question:  How long ago was it that people were quoting the same Bible to justify slavery?  And unequal rights for women? Unfortunately, it wasn't that long ago.  Can you imagine where we'd be today if that was still going on? 

When you are in a position of power or in the public eye, don't be surprised about people getting pissed off at you when you make a statement about something that people are so passionate about.  No matter what your position is, you're not going to have 100% agreement from the rest of the world.  So you need to be prepared for that if you want to make a stand.  And don't play "victim" when people start going off on you.  If that's how you feel, fine.  Stand up for yourself.  But then don't expect a pity party from the backlash.  At least not one from me.

Another thing:  The people that are using religion as justification for it to be "wrong", really irritate me, and here's why.  Don't go around preaching about how good and how great God is, and then say that He doesn't love someone because of their beliefs.  Do you NOT see a problem with this?  Because *I* do.  A MAJOR PROBLEM.  If you want to talk about God and Jesus, consider Jesus for a moment.  He never turned ANYONE down.  He was a friend to sinners, (and let's face it, we're ALL sinners), lepers, even those that betrayed Him, i.e. Judas and Peter - He never stopped loving them, and He even forgave them.  So why wouldn't God/Jesus do the same for Gays?  Do you really think He'd accept someone that BETRAYED Him, but NOT accept someone just because they're gay?  Seriously.  I don't see that happening.  And I have a hard time with "Christians" condemning anyone just because they are gay, or black, or a different religion.  Doesn't sound very CHRISTIAN to me.  

Last thing:  I have 3 children.  Do I think any of them are gay or will "become" gay?  Now, no.  Maybe?  Who knows?  But do you think if they did/were that I would love them any less?  They're my CHILDREN!  I will love them NO MATTER WHAT.  And aren't WE GOD'S children?  God loves UNCONDITIONALLY.  He loves more than we do.  He accepts more than we do.  He forgives more than we do.  Aren't we supposed to "model" ourselves after Him?  If YOUR God preaches hate, unforgiveness, and judgement, then I'm sorry, but we must not believe in the same God.  Because MY God doesn't.  MY God preaches love, forgiveness, and acceptance.  And personally, I like MY God better.