Ryan's Grandpa . . .

Ryan's grandpa, Jack, is an AMAZING man.  I love him dearly.  From the very beginning, he's never made feel like anything less than part of the family.  He's one person who always made me feel welcome in the family.  He's almost 86.  And unfortunately he's not doing very well.  And that breaks my heart beyond belief.  He lost his best friend about 4 or 5 months ago, and I think that really did him in.  He's been different ever since.  He's lost a lot in the last few years, his wife, 2 children, and now his best friend.  I think that's more than anyone can take in a lifetime. 

July 5th he fell down his basement stairs and dislocated his shoulder and cut his eye.  Ever since then he's just not doing well.  It seems like every time we see him he looks worse.  I think he has some major depression settling in.  And I think he's just tired.  Tired of being by himself.  Tired of losing the people he loves.  Tired of not being able to take care of himself.  I think he's just plain tired.   And I don't know how we help him.  We were going up to see him every weekend, he lives about 2 hours away, but honestly, I think all of us being there, there are FIVE of us after all, just wore him out more.  So last weekend Ryan went by himself.  And this weekend we're not going at all.  His daughter and granddaughter are both going to be there this weekend.  But I still feel guilty.  I feel like we should go up there to see him more often, but with 3 kids, Ryan's work schedule, and my work schedule, it's just not easy.  

But I hope he knows how much we love him and how much he means to us, even if we're not there all of the time.  I THINK he does.  But you never know. 

I never knew either one of my Grandfather's, so he's the only Grandfather I've ever had.  And he is an AMAZING man.  I honestly don't think I could love him anymore if he WAS my real grandfather.  I ADORE him.  I love talking to him.  I love spending time with him.  I love hearing his stories of the past.  I just love him.  EVERYTHING about him.  And the thought that we might be losing him soon breaks my heart more than I can even explain.

 Grandpa, Ryan, Jason, Andrew and Sarah Beth the weekend before we moved to China.