Wednesday, May 4, 2011


I have three BEAUTIFUL children.  Jason will be 12 next month, Andrew is 9 1/2 and Sarah Beth will be 4 in August.  I've written a lot about my weight and about how much it bothers me.  I wish I could change it, but I'm lazy and I've been overweight as long as I can remember, so I guess I just figure it is what it is.  

But now, it's affecting my child.  Jason and Sarah are little.  They always have been.  But Andrew is built more like me and he has a belly.  And he's the least active of my 3 kids.  Whenever the kids are outside playing, he's the first one to tire out.  He's the first one to come inside because he's tired of playing.  He's the first one to give up when they're playing tag and running around the neighborhood.  

And because Ryan and I are both overweight, we're worried about HIS weight.  I don't want him to go through his whole life thinking he's not a good person because he's fat.  I don't want him to worry about what other people think about the way he looks.  He went to a swim party the other day and he wouldn't get in the pool without a shirt on because he was worried about his belly.  AND I'M NOT OKAY WITH THAT!

So the other night we talked to him about making better choices in what he eats and playing outside more.  And it broke my heart.  Because I know he gets this problem from me.  And it really sucks.  I told him that I would love him even if he had 3 heads and that it's not just about the way he looks, but it's about being healthy.  You guys don't know Andrew.  He's an AMAZING little boy.  And I'm not just saying that because he's my son.  He's smart.  And funny.  And so cute.  Everyone always talks about what a great kid he is.  And he is.  All of my kids are great.  But Andrew's the one with the most personality.  He's larger than life and he's really hard to forget.

So you can imagine how hard it was to have that talk with him.  The last thing I wanted was for him to think he's a bad person because he has a belly.  Because I've felt that way my whole life.  And I want so much better for him.  I don't want him to question the kind of person that he is.  I don't want people to miss his humor and his unique way of looking at things.  I don't want them to miss how smart he is, and not see how much common sense and "street" sense he has.  Because, let's face it, most people don't take the time to look past what they see on the outside.  And while it's definitely THEY'RE loss, because they won't see what an amazing person he is, it's still not fair to him.

So he and I decided that we're going to start walking together every night.  Just the two of us, and not for very long.  Just a walk around the block.  It'll get us both up and out of our chairs, plus it will give us some time, just the 2 of us to talk about our day. 

But I really wish neither one of us had to worry about these things.  Because honestly?  It really SUCKS!

Tuesday, May 3, 2011


One Story Of A Memory You Have

When I was little, some of my favorite memories are of the weeks we used to spend down at Nolin Lake.  We would pack up the cars and trucks, and then head down to the lake for a week of sun, fun and relaxation.  There were usually 4-6 families that went down with us. 

The cabin we stayed in had 2 bedrooms, a sunken family room, a kitchen and dining area, and 1 bathroom.  All of the kids slept in the sunken family room.  The adults used to call it "the pits".  Nice huh?  It also had a nice large deck and was just a short walk down to the water. 

The men used to cook breakfast in the morning, we'd have sandwiches and chips down by the lake for lunch, and then each family would take turns cooking dinner at night.  We'd spend the days on the lake, fishing, skiiing, tubing, and swimming.  At night we'd just hang out and play games.  One of our favorite games to play was spoons.  If you've never played it, you're really missing out!  We used to play it for HOURS.  Here's how it works:  Depending on the number of people playing, you put one less spoon in the middle of the table.  Everyone is dealt 4 cards.  The dealer then pulls out other cards from the deck and discards a card and passes it around.  The goal is to get 4 of a kind.  The first person that gets 4 of a kind tries to grab a spoon without anyone noticing.  Once the first spoon is gone, then it's a free for all, and everyone can grab them.  The person that doesn't get a spoon is out, and you keep playing, taking out a spoon each time you lose a person, until there's only 1 person left standing.  It might not sound like fun, but believe me, when you're 10 and 11, it's A LOT of fun!

Some of my greatest memories are of our times at the lake.  It still brings a smile to my face every time I think about our summers spent down there. 

Now, we go to Rough River Lake because that's where my FIL lives.  We spend almost every weekend down there.  And my kids LOVE it.  And so do we.  Sometimes we go by ourselves, and other times we go down with our friends and their kids.  But no matter who we go with, we always have a good time.  We always look forward to our weekends at the lake.  I'm really glad my kids are able to make some of the same types of memories that I have.

Monday, May 2, 2011


Two Things You Want

  • I want for my kids to have a good life.  I want them to be happy, but I also want them to be good citizens.  I want them to make good choices.  I want them to be a good influence on the people they meet and come in contact with in their lives.  I want them to leave a positive footprint on the world.  I will ALWAYS be proud of them.  No matter what they do.  But I still want them to grow up to be good and respectful adults.  And I want to know that maybe, just maybe, I had something to do with that!
  • I want to stop worrying so much about what other people think of me.  I am who I am.  Warts and all.  And I'm 40 years old.  I'm not just going to wake up tomorrow and be a different person.  So why can't I stop worrying so much about what other people think?