I have an AMAZING little boy. I actually have 2 boys and 1 girl, and they're all great. And I love them dearly. But Andrew, my 10 year old, is a little different. He's very sensitive. About EVERYTHING. My husband and I "clash" sometimes because he thinks he's TOO sensitive. He says he needs to "man" up and get some back bone. I think there's no such thing as TOO sensitive. I think he's only 10, and he'll grow up fast enough, so there's nothing wrong with him being sensitive at this age. I WANT him to stay sensitive. I think he'll make a great boyfriend/husband one day BECAUSE of his sensitivity. (Mind you, I'm thinking MANY, MANY YEARS from now. He is only 10 after all). ;)
But I still worry about him. What if hubby is right? What if he IS too sensitive? He has VERY little self-esteem. He's constantly worrying about what other people think of him. He gets his feelings hurt VERY easily. Sometimes I feel like I have to censor what I say to him because I don't know how he's going to take it, and I don't want to upset him. So in that respect, maybe he IS too sensitive. But that's his nature. It's his personality. It's a part of who he is, and I don't want to change who he is, because he is SO special. But I still worry. He's the one I think will get bullied. He HAS been bullied on the bus, and I had to go to the school counselor to help handle the situation. And he did. But he can't always be there for him. Next year, he moves on to middle school. Next year kids are going to be even meaner. And crueler. And looking for someone they can pick on. And he's an easy target because he wears his heart on his sleeve. If you say something to upset him, you can see it on his face immediately. And bullies will jump on that. I've tried telling him to act like it doesn't bother him, but he's not very good at it. And who can blame him? I'm not good at it either and I'm 42. How can I expect HIM to be good at it when he's only 10?
You see, I GET my son. I KNOW what he's thinking and how he's feeling, because I've BEEN there. I was just like him. Hell, I'm STILL just like him. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I get my feelings hurt VERY easily. I shut down when I'm hurt or upset. I second guess everything I do and say to other people. I analyze the things people say to me and wonder what they REALLY meant. I assume people are talking about me. And don't like me. I assume people would rather be with anyone BUT me. So yeah, I GET him. I KNOW where he's coming from.
But I still wonder - is there such a thing as TOO sensitive? Is it different for a boy? And if so, how do you change that? How do you help them get a thicker skin? What would you do if it was YOUR kid? I really need to know. Because I DON'T know what to do. And I HATE seeing my "baby" doubt himself and be in pain all of the time. So how do I help him? CAN I help him?
My Special Little Boy