Monday, July 19, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA . . .

Today is my Grandma's birthday. At least it would be if she was still with us. It's hard to believe she's been gone for almost 12 years.

From the time I was very little, she's always been my hero. And she always WILL be my hero. I have so many great memories of spending time with her. My cousin, Cyndi, and I would go to her place together and spend the night. Sometimes I wonder how she put up with us. I remember sitting on the back of her couch, Cyndi on one side and me on the other, and we would "style" her hair. Poor thing! The year we went to Cheerleading Camp, we came home and performed all of our cheers for her.

Some of my best memories are of times spent with her. She made the BEST fried chicken. And I've never tasted anything like it since. And she LOVED White Castle and Kit Kat's. I remember when she was in the nursing home before she died. Every time I would go to visit I would take her 2 White Castles. She'd always say she wasn't hungry and she'd eat them later, but she always finished them before I left!

She started getting sick before our wedding, so she wasn't able to make it to the wedding. But she was staying with Mom and Dad at the time so she got to see me in my wedding dress. Of course, she couldn't see much because her eyesight was failing. But she looked at me and said, "You look so beautiful!" She always said that. No matter what I was wearing or what I looked like. And to her, I always was. I've never been a super model, obviously, and I've never been the Valedictorian, but she always thought I was smart and beautiful. And she actually BELIEVED that! I think she must have worn rose colored glasses her whole life. But I NEVER felt like I wasn't good enough for her. I ALWAYS knew she was proud of me. I can honestly say I NEVER doubted that.

A few years before she died, we decided as a family, all of her kids and grand kids, that the perfect song for her was "Wind Beneath My Wings." (We even sang it for her on Karaoke. I'm sure there's a copy of it floating around somewhere. If anyone has it, I would LOVE to copy it). And it IS the perfect song for her. I still can't hear that song without thinking of her. It will ALWAYS be her song. "I would be nothing without you. Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be." I SWEAR those lines were written just for her.

I remember at her funeral, the priest was talking about what a great person she was. He said that she had 13 grandchildren, and all of them felt like she was their favorite. Then we all went around the room and said that WE were the favorite. (But actually it was ME)!! ;-) He also talked about her love for butterflies. So for those of you that know me well, NOW you know why I always collect butterfly objects. It makes me feel like she's still with me.

I'm SOOOO lucky to have had her in my life. I know she's watching down on me from Heaven. Believe me, if anyone is in Heaven, it's her.

I told you before that Jason was named after her. It breaks my heart that she never got to meet my kids. I know she would have loved them, and I KNOW they would have loved her. There was always so much joy and love in her eyes every time she looked at me. And it was real. You can't fake that. I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm so glad I got her. I never felt like I wasn't good enough. I never felt like I should be prettier, or smarter, or funnier. She loved ME for ME. Flaws and all. And believe me, there are lots of them!

I see so much of her in my kids. Jason has her sensitivity. She was always so aware of how people felt, and she never wanted to hurt anyone. Jason's like that. Plus, he's named after her, so she will be a part of him forever. She was never a very "demonstrative" person when it came to affection, but we always knew she loved us, and she always knew we loved her. Andrew gets that from her. He loves us, and he knows we love him, but he sure doesn't like to show it! And Sarah, well Sarah talks just like her. I mean ALL THE TIME!!!!

I LOVE you Grandma, and I miss you. Some days I miss you SOOOO much. I thank God EVERYDAY that He gave me you as my Grandma. Happy Birthday Grandma!

6 comments:

MEKremer said...

That is why,when you asked me what did I want Jason to call me. I told you I thought it would be a great honor for him to call me Grandma Kremer. But HE named me Nanny. I am trying to be the grandma to your kids, that your grandma Kremer was to all of you.

Terry said...

One of my favorite memories of Mamaw, was playing Old Maid with her. I thought I was so clever sticking the Queen of Hearts up higher than the other cards, and she always picked it. HA! One day, when I was MUCH older I remarked on doing that, and she said something about knowing I was doing it, and my childish memory of being smarter than Mamaw was dashed!

Anonymous said...

One time when I was standing next to Mamaw I said, "Hey Mamaw. I'm taller than you!" She promptly replied, "Well, that doesn't make you very tall, does it?"

BRK said...

HEARTFELT & A WELL WRITTEN PIECE!

Safe trip & WELCOME HOME!

BRK said...

HEARTFELT & A WELL WRITTEN PIECE!

Safe trip & WELCOME HOME!

BRK said...

HEARTFELT & A WELL WRITTEN PIECE!

Safe trip & WELCOME HOME!