Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I went to my parent's church this past weekend.  A good friend of the family came into the church on Sunday, so I went to share in the ceremony.  During the service the priest gave a homily that really hit home with me.  I've told you before that I don't go to church very often anymore.  One reason is because I go to church and I spend the time thinking about all of the other things that I need to do during the day or the week.  Or I spend the whole time with Sarah climbing all over me or refereeing the boys.  But this time I went by myself, and I vowed to not let my mind wander because I wanted to BE there for this friend of ours.  

Anyway, Father's homily was on Choices.  And it really sank in.  You know how sometimes you hear things that might not have hit you yesterday, but today they do?  Well that's what this was.  So much of what he said made sense.  We make choices EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.  And we have to live with those choices, whatever they may be.  We choose to get married, or not, and we choose the person we marry.  Most of us, choose to have kids.  We don't get to choose whether we'll have a boy or a girl, but we get to choose to have a child.  We choose what we want to study in college; what career path we take; where we go to school; where we go to church; IF we go to church.  They're all choices that we make.  And because we make those choices we also have to live with the consequences and rewards of those choices.  

I CHOSE to study Psychology in college.  My original intent was to be a social worker or a psychologist.  But then I found out that my life is too "normal".  I couldn't handle the stress and emotions of everything that goes with that choice.  So I CHOSE not to go that route.  And now I have a useless degree!  Actually, I pretty much use it everyday in my job and my family, but I just don't get PAID to use it.   But again, that's a CHOICE that I made.  And I'm okay with that choice.  I'm not sure I would have been a good social worker or psychologist anyway.  But do I question that decision?  Sure, pretty much every day.  But again, it's a choice I made, and I have to live with the consequences of that choice.  

We choose the friends we keep.  We meet a lot of people in our lives.  But we CHOOSE the ones that we call friends.  They're special to us.  It doesn't mean they're any better than the person sitting next to them, it just means they're the better choice for us.  Whether it's because they are like us, or different from us, or they make us laugh, or we just "connect" with them.  We choose them as our friends.  And that's a choice we make.  But it's OUR choice to make.  

I get to choose the choices I make for my kids.  My husband and I do.  You may not agree with those choices, but they're not YOUR choices to make.  They're ours.  Yes, you may have done things differently, but that doesn't mean that we're doing anything wrong.  It's just different.  If you put 10 different people together, you're going to have 10 different ideas on the best way to raise kids.  It doesn't mean any of them are right or wrong, they're just right or wrong for US. 

Sometimes I question the choices I've made in my life, and I wonder if my life would have been different if I'd made different choices so many years ago.  And maybe it would be.  But then I wouldn't have a husband who I love dearly one minute and want to ring his neck the next!  ;)  I wouldn't have 3 BEAUTIFUL children that I see blossoming each and every day into amazing little people.  I wouldn't have the friends that make me feel like maybe, just maybe, I AM a good person.    

Choices.  They're a part of our every day life.  And I'm glad I CHOSE to go to church that day, because it was a good choice.  For me. 


Stephanie Faris said...

I think the best thing to do is recognize that we made the best decision we could at the time. In fact, I once heard a quote in a movie (stated by Shirley Maclaine, of all people) that stuck with me. "I don't believe in mistakes," she said. "We create what we need at the time." Very profound.

Amy said...

It's like I tell my kids. You have to make your choices, how someone reacts to your choice - is their choice. And you can't make anyone else happy. Just as no one else can make you happy. It's all a matter of choice.

Love the post

Shell said...

It sounds like you chose the right day to go!

Amy said...

Up late thanks to my choice to overindulge in Mexican food tonight. Ugh!

You post, though, has me thinking a little bit about what it feels like when you feel you have no choice or perhaps the choice is between to "evils."

Too much late night thinking for this gal.