Sunday, January 23, 2011


This is another one of those "I wish I was anonymous" posts.  This has been bothering me for awhile now, so I guess it's time to get it out there and off my chest.  Here's the deal.  Many of you know I joined a new company in October.  It's called Thirty One Gifts.  You can read more about it HERE.  I've let everyone in my family, my husband's family, and all of my friends know about it.   Heck, I've even let YOU GUYS know about it! I know it's a hard time for everyone and everyone is cutting back, but I figure if they're going to buy from 31, they might as well buy from me.  Right?

So I was talking to a family member about having a party and she told me that she is having one for a friend.  Maybe I shouldn't be, but I've been really upset about it.  I've heard this same person say, on more than one occasion, that "we're family" when she wants or needs something.  But I guess that only applies to her.  I keep thinking, how would she feel if she was doing something like this and I did the same thing to her?  I think she'd be really upset.  And I also think she'd make sure that pretty everyone knew that I wasn't supporting her. So why are the rules different for her?  

I don't know.  Maybe I'm just being selfish.  What do you think?  How would you feel?  Am I overreacting? 


Mrs. Wayne said...

I might be a little hurt, but I'd try to forgive quickly and find another party hostess. You could still invite your family member to attend the party. Who knows? She might come and bring a friend.

Amy said...

Mrs Wayne is nicer than I am. ;)

I'd be pretty upset. But then I doubt I'd say anything. Well, until the next time she wanted/needed something for me. Then I imagine I'd be pretty unavailable.

I never claimed to be nice ;)

kathryn said...

Well. I think family should be there for each other...but the only thing I'm unsure of is when this "family member" made these arrangements with this "friend". I can only assume it wasn't arranged back before October.
Seems to me that there's only two ways to go here: You can be vengeful, or you can take the high road.
But I'd definitely be hurt...and would want her to know that I was.

Michelle said...

Mrs. Wayne is nicer than me too! :) I haven't said anything. And I WON'T say anything, because it's not in my nature.
But Amy, I think the same way you do. I'll be sure to "remind" her of this when she needs something from us.
And Kathryn, I'm 99.9% sure it wasn't before October. She just likes this person better than me, (she pretty much likes EVERYBODY better than me), and thinks she "needs" the money more than we do. That could be the case, but I was always raised that you help family and family should come first.
I guarantee you if she was doing something like this and I had someone else do a party and not her, I would NEVER hear the end of it. But she's always had a different set of rules for her than for me. I know that. And I just keep getting hurt by it. That's my fault. I should know not to expect anything, that way I can't get hurt.
Thanks for listening and not making me feel like a bad person for feeling this way.

manda said...

if it was me i would just tell her it upset me. i would be polite about it and explain reasonably. you have a right to your feelings and perhaps there are reasons for hers that you maybe haven't thought of. i think it's always best to be honest and rational.

take the time you need to step away and calm your heart and then tell her, "You know the other day when you said that it hurt my feelings and I didn't want there to be there air between us. I really wanted to know why you said that and if it was meant to be mean." Something like that. At least after the fact you'd feel better about letting your feelings go and if she winds up being a b*@$! don't give in. Just say "Okay." Then you know.

I wouldn't help her either any longer unless it's a misunderstanding she's willing to apologize for having hurt your feelings over.

colonel said...

Consider the source. I can rememeber telling you as a child, when someone did something unkind to you. It really hurts me that they did that, but it would hurt me more if you did somthing like that.