BULLYING . . .

I've been "stewing" for the last few hours because of something I heard on the radio. I figured the best way to feel better, is to write about it and get my feelings out.

First, let me start by saying that I came into the "discussion" towards the end, so I didn't get to hear everything that was said before. I do know they were talking about bullying, how it affects children, and some things that can be done to help stop and prevent it. One lady had the courage to call in and talk about her daughter who was cyber-bullied so badly that she committed suicide. Her family has started a foundation in her name to talk about bullying prevention. Someone then called in to say that they thought bullying was a natural part of life and that it's a good thing because otherwise we'd all be too soft and sitting at home "watching Oprah." He then made a comment about Portia De Rossi who has a new book out, and went so far to say that she DESERVED to be bullied. I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!? I wanted to go through the radio and strangle him! My first thought was that he never went through anything like that growing up, and more likely was the bully, and also, that he obviously has no children that are having to face it on a weekly basis. (Don't misunderstand me, my kids aren't being bullied every week, but they're getting older and they do see things happen. They know what it is, and they know to tell me or another adult if something DOES happen. And they HAVE told me things that have happened).

But how can ANYONE think bullying is a GOOD thing? There have been 7 suicides in the last couple of months because teens were bullied so badly they thought there was no way out. There was a case of cyber bullying a few years ago where it turned out it was the MOTHER of another girl that was bullying a TEENAGER! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! The courageous lady that called in to talk about her daughter and what happened to her. How can you hear those stories, and think it's okay? How can you know that teens are taking their lives because they see no way out? How can this NOT be an issue that we should be worried about?

I wasn't "bullied" so to speak, but I've pretty much been made fun of my whole life because of my size. I think that's why it's such a hot topic for me. I HATED high school. There were parts of it I liked, yes. (My best friend whom I've known since we were 13 is about the only thing that comes to mind at the moment). But overall, I hated it. Because I was different. I wasn't pretty and popular and a size 2. I don't think I've been a size 2 since I WAS 2. I was different. And I stuck out like a sore thumb; especially at an all girls high school where everyone else was prettier, smarter, and more well liked than me. So yeah, maybe I tend to get a little more upset and bothered by it than most people would. But I'm okay with that. I'd rather be MORE aware of what's going on around my kids, than LESS aware.

Don't get me wrong. I still had a good childhood. A GREAT childhood actually. But honestly, the only reason I have even HALF of the self-confidence that I have is because of my wonderful parents and my AMAZING Grandma. They never failed to tell me how much they loved me and how special they thought I was. Heck, my parents STILL tell me that now, and I know my Grandma would too if she was still here. But that's not the same thing. They're your family, and they're SUPPOSED to love you for who you are. Thankfully, mine did and does.

But I still sensor everything that comes out of my mouth when I'm around other people. I question the things I said and did and wonder if they were right or wrong. I don't say a lot of things that are on my mind, because I don't want people to make fun of me. I constantly worry about what people think of me. I think I'm a good person. I HOPE I'm a good person. But sometimes, I don't think other people see that, because they don't take the time to look past the outside, to see what's inside.

So again, yeah maybe I'm a little sensitive about the subject. But you know what? I'm okay with that. Because I think that only serves to make me a better parent, and I hope, a better person. But don't EVER tell me that you think bullying is a good thing. Because believe me, I won't be worried about censoring what I say.