Wednesday, November 10, 2010

BULLYING . . .

I've been "stewing" for the last few hours because of something I heard on the radio. I figured the best way to feel better, is to write about it and get my feelings out.

First, let me start by saying that I came into the "discussion" towards the end, so I didn't get to hear everything that was said before. I do know they were talking about bullying, how it affects children, and some things that can be done to help stop and prevent it. One lady had the courage to call in and talk about her daughter who was cyber-bullied so badly that she committed suicide. Her family has started a foundation in her name to talk about bullying prevention. Someone then called in to say that they thought bullying was a natural part of life and that it's a good thing because otherwise we'd all be too soft and sitting at home "watching Oprah." He then made a comment about Portia De Rossi who has a new book out, and went so far to say that she DESERVED to be bullied. I'm sorry, WHAT?!?!? I wanted to go through the radio and strangle him! My first thought was that he never went through anything like that growing up, and more likely was the bully, and also, that he obviously has no children that are having to face it on a weekly basis. (Don't misunderstand me, my kids aren't being bullied every week, but they're getting older and they do see things happen. They know what it is, and they know to tell me or another adult if something DOES happen. And they HAVE told me things that have happened).

But how can ANYONE think bullying is a GOOD thing? There have been 7 suicides in the last couple of months because teens were bullied so badly they thought there was no way out. There was a case of cyber bullying a few years ago where it turned out it was the MOTHER of another girl that was bullying a TEENAGER! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! The courageous lady that called in to talk about her daughter and what happened to her. How can you hear those stories, and think it's okay? How can you know that teens are taking their lives because they see no way out? How can this NOT be an issue that we should be worried about?

I wasn't "bullied" so to speak, but I've pretty much been made fun of my whole life because of my size. I think that's why it's such a hot topic for me. I HATED high school. There were parts of it I liked, yes. (My best friend whom I've known since we were 13 is about the only thing that comes to mind at the moment). But overall, I hated it. Because I was different. I wasn't pretty and popular and a size 2. I don't think I've been a size 2 since I WAS 2. I was different. And I stuck out like a sore thumb; especially at an all girls high school where everyone else was prettier, smarter, and more well liked than me. So yeah, maybe I tend to get a little more upset and bothered by it than most people would. But I'm okay with that. I'd rather be MORE aware of what's going on around my kids, than LESS aware.

Don't get me wrong. I still had a good childhood. A GREAT childhood actually. But honestly, the only reason I have even HALF of the self-confidence that I have is because of my wonderful parents and my AMAZING Grandma. They never failed to tell me how much they loved me and how special they thought I was. Heck, my parents STILL tell me that now, and I know my Grandma would too if she was still here. But that's not the same thing. They're your family, and they're SUPPOSED to love you for who you are. Thankfully, mine did and does.

But I still sensor everything that comes out of my mouth when I'm around other people. I question the things I said and did and wonder if they were right or wrong. I don't say a lot of things that are on my mind, because I don't want people to make fun of me. I constantly worry about what people think of me. I think I'm a good person. I HOPE I'm a good person. But sometimes, I don't think other people see that, because they don't take the time to look past the outside, to see what's inside.

So again, yeah maybe I'm a little sensitive about the subject. But you know what? I'm okay with that. Because I think that only serves to make me a better parent, and I hope, a better person. But don't EVER tell me that you think bullying is a good thing. Because believe me, I won't be worried about censoring what I say.

28 comments:

Shell said...

I can't imagine anyone saying bullying can be a good thing. Not unless they are the bullies.

Renegades said...

Only a bully would think it was a good thing in my opinion.

Caren with a "C" said...

Ditto! It is unfortunate there are people out there that think that.

I Thought I Knew Mama said...

Yikes! Bullying is never ever a good thing!

MrsJenB said...

Understood - I take it so much to heart, because I was teased for so many years.

Heather said...

Natural part of life is so unfortunately true. But NO that does not make it okay!!!

Amanda said...

I could never imagine anyone saying that bullying is a good thing. There has been so much in the news lately about it I don't know how it would be good.

Stopping by from comment hour

Scott and Alie said...

There is nothing positive from bullying, nothing at all. I don't think anyone should be bullied.

#commenthour

Mom of the Twinkies and Tot! said...

It is really a sad thing. I am a teacher to first graders (6 & 7 year olds) and have witnessed things at even this age & there are some parents out there that thing the sun rises & sets with their "angel" and would go to any length to make excuses for the behaviors they put forth. It really starts at home. If parents allow their children to have attitudes & behaviors associated with bullying then the kids are never going to understand how wrong it is.

Just One Donna said...

Visiting from #CommentHour. Bullying is such an emotional topic. Everyone has an opinion!

Jenny said...

I don't bully people. I was always the one that got bully'd. :*( Made me a sad panda.

I DO however want with all my existance want to beat the snot out of my ex-sister-in-law though. :P But that's not bullying that revenge! hehehe

Handy Man, Crafty Woman said...

I hate bullies! :-( great post.

stopping by from the SITS comment hour.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

I am not sure how someone being bullied benefits.

Eve said...

I agree that unfortunately it's become a part of childhood. But I also agree that it does NOT make it right. And it is NEVER deserved. That's just crazy.

Sara said...

Very well written! I was "bullied" or "teased" for similar reasons as you. I still have emotional scars from it and probably always will. We need to speak up! And I don't know if that man has any kids but I pray that he doesn't ... imagine what he would teach them!

Found you from SITS comment hour! Be sure to check out my blog too: IDoTheeWedSara.com

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

Ugh, the whole "kids will be kids" mentality is sort of revolting when it comes to these types of things. I was definitely picked on, and in many ways I think it made me stronger. But if I were ever faced with this, if my daughter would bully, I'd be on her like white on rice! I would definitely say it's unacceptable, and make sure it stopped. To say it's normal is to ignore something, like you say, that's causing suicide.

Gina said...

Bullying isn't ever a good thing in my opinion. And you are entitled to your feelings, and to protect your kids. ♥

Amy said...

Bullying would get my goat up too.

Here from commenthour

Geek.Girl.Wife said...

Bullying is NEVER a good or positive thing! I grew up with bullying, inter-cultural and for other reasons and it was TEZRRIBLE! I commend anyone standing up against this "normal" part of growing up, and I will fight against bullying! ALWAYS!

The Lucky Wife said...

I HATE bullying, too. AND HATED high school also. LOVED college but really could have done without high school.

wildcatterswife.com said...

Bullying is for weak, insecure individuals. I was bullied in high school. Hated it. Nothing good ever comes from it. Stopping by for #commenthour

Jamee @ A New Kind of Normal said...

What a jerk. How on earth can bullying ever be a good thing? As someone who was bullied pretty much throughout school I don't get how someone can say that. I'd like to punch him. Would that be a good type of bullying?

Stopping by from SITS comment hour!

Katy said...

good post! That guy is/was obviously a bully, and is trying to validate his poor behavior!

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TheProDiva said...

You have every right to be angry! Bullying is such a problem, and should not be taken lightly or categorized as "not a big deal." The results of bullying can last years and create lasting scars. It is serious, and should be taken seriously! Ok, I'm getting off my soapbox. Great post!

MOMmetime said...

I was with my kids at a indoor play area with tables, wifi & eating ~my kids were playing, other kids are coming and going. I over hear these kids complaining to their parents about this kid being 'mean' and one of the parents response was to ignore it...my youngest daughter comes down the slide to tell me that some girl has my 6yo trapped on the slide, being mean to her. Oh, hell no! I went flying up that tunnel ~and was face to face with that kid (about 9). I gave her a talkin to...followed her out to where her parents were sitting and gave them a talkin to!

I don't know the answer but ignoring it doesn't work!

Visiting from SITS comment hour.

eileenludwig said...

Bullying is being shown as normal by a lot by Fox TV personalities.

stopping by from #commenthour at sits

Toqua's Crafts said...

Bullying really stinks.

I missed @CommentHour tonight, but I still wanted to come by and visit.

Blessings!

Toqua’s Crafts
http://ToquasCrafts.blogspot.com
@ToquasCrafts

TryItMom said...

It's that kind of ignorance that has made it as bad as it is.