I was listening to a talk show the other day and they started talking about marriage. We’ve been married for 14 years and we’ve been together for 15 ½ years. Wow! That’s kind of a long time!
I remember a few weeks before our wedding talking to my mom. I was starting to get nervous and wondering if I was doing the right thing. It’s not that I didn’t love Ryan, it’s just that I was getting scared. It’s a big step. And it’s one that I don’t think people take as seriously as they used to. Anyway, she told me it was normal, and that everyone has doubts some times.
I'm not sure if it was before or after we got married, but I remember talking to Ryan's Grandpa and he told us that marriage is not 50/50 it's 90/10. Sometimes YOU give 90 and HE gives 10, and other times HE gives 90 and YOU give 10. And sometimes you feel like YOU'RE always giving 90 and he feels like HE'S always giving 90. But that's what marriage is. No one ever said it was easy. And if someone told you that, THEY LIED!!!!
Ryan and I couldn't be more different if we tried. He's a UofL fan, I'm a UK fan. I'm Catholic, he's not. I love country music, he HATES it. I like to talk, he doesn't. I like being around people, he doesn't. He's organized, (or at least pretends to be), and I'm not. But somehow we've made it work 14 years. I know people that have a lot more in common that couldn't make it work that long. And that's what it is. It's work. I remember my mom telling me when I was younger that if spouses would treat each other the same way we treat our kids, there would be a lot less divorce in the world. And I think she's right. I mean think about it. Our kids tick us off, and 5 minutes later, we're over it. Our spouses tick us off and we could still be mad 2 weeks later! Our kids don't listen to us, and we get over it. Our spouses don't, and we remind them a bazillion times that if they had listened to us, they would know what's going on. Our kids say something to hurt our feelings, and we get over it. Our spouses do, and we might remind them of "that thing you said" 10 years later! I think we tend to love our children more "unconditionally" than we do our spouses.
Marriage isn't easy. It's a job. And sometimes that job is easier than others. It takes listening to each other, talking to each other, enjoying each others company, and RESPECTING each other, to make it work.