In light of how I've been feeling lately, I thought I'd post something that I sent to my friend earlier this month. I need to keep reading this to remind me why we're here.
I KNOW we made the right decision to move here. We’re seeing and visiting new places that we probably would have gone our whole lives without seeing. Beijing. Hong Kong. Shanghai. Not to mention the places that we still haven’t visited yet. My kids are EXCELLING! Sarah is learning Chinese at 2 years old. The boys are both doing better in school than they’ve ever done before, and they are in a much tougher program than they’ve ever been in before. A school that they are lucky to be in. They are both gaining self-confidence that they’ve never had before. They’re making new friends from all over the WORLD. Not just the States, but the World! And this is an experience they we will always take with them. They will never look at the news the same way again when it comes to China. China will no longer be just another “country.” It will be a part of them. It was their home for a year. They are learning a new culture. They are learning compassion. They are learning that we in the States are a very spoiled bunch of people, and we don’t realize it. And we wouldn’t have realized it if we hadn’t left the country.
I am VERY thankful for this experience for my family. I’m ticked that I’m missing my best friends' wedding. I’m ticked that Jason is missing his 5th grade year at Tully. I’m ticked that Sarah Beth didn’t get to start preschool this year. I’m ticked that everyone’s life at home is going on without me and I’m afraid you’re all going to decide that you don’t really need me in your life anyway.
But instead of focusing on the negatives, I’m TRYING to focus on the positives. It’s not always easy, and there are some days that I just sit in my apartment crying because I want to be home. But I’m still trying. There are some days that it’s hard just to get out of bed because I am feeling sorry for myself. But I AM here. WE made this decision for our family. Not just RYAN. WE made it together. I could have told him NO I wouldn’t go, and we would still be at home, getting ready for the snow storm that is coming your way. But we were trying to do what we thought would be best for our family, and I definitely think we made the right decision. Even on the days when I don’t want to get out of bed.
And THAT'S what I need to keep reminding myself during times like this.