Okay, so I had another "Mom" moment this weekend, and I'm still reeling from it.
Jason has a friend that he has been friends with pretty much since we moved here. I'll call him Z. In the past few months he's also become friends with Y. Ryan and I noticed that he hadn't been playing with Z much, but we just figured that it was because he's been so busy with the play and I thought once it was all over he would go back to playing with him again. So on Saturday Z called to see if he could play, and he told him yes. Then Ryan overheard him telling Andrew not to tell Y that he was playing with Z. So we called him out to see what was going on. He told us that Y doesn't like Z. (He told us why, but that's not really important). Anytime Jason plays with Z, Y calls him names and tells everyone not to play with him. So THAT'S why he hasn't been playing with Z.
I got really upset and told him that I think he needs to find other friends. I asked him if he LIKED playing with Z, and he said yes he likes playing with him a lot. So I told him that if that's the case, then he should do what he wants and not worry about what Y says. He said there are other people in his class that he gets along with, so he is going to start spending more time with them. He also told me not to tell Y's parents because then Y will make it even worse for him. I told him that of course I won't. I want him to be able to talk to us and tell us what's going on with him, and I would never betray that trust.
After this conversation he said "This never happened to me at Tully." I don't want him to associate it with Concordia and think that's the only reason it's happening. So we told him that unfortunately, the older he gets, the more it will start happening.
But I felt so sorry for him. He really has been torn. Hopefully since we've talked about it he'll feel better and go back to doing what he REALLY wants to do.
Jason has a friend that he has been friends with pretty much since we moved here. I'll call him Z. In the past few months he's also become friends with Y. Ryan and I noticed that he hadn't been playing with Z much, but we just figured that it was because he's been so busy with the play and I thought once it was all over he would go back to playing with him again. So on Saturday Z called to see if he could play, and he told him yes. Then Ryan overheard him telling Andrew not to tell Y that he was playing with Z. So we called him out to see what was going on. He told us that Y doesn't like Z. (He told us why, but that's not really important). Anytime Jason plays with Z, Y calls him names and tells everyone not to play with him. So THAT'S why he hasn't been playing with Z.
I got really upset and told him that I think he needs to find other friends. I asked him if he LIKED playing with Z, and he said yes he likes playing with him a lot. So I told him that if that's the case, then he should do what he wants and not worry about what Y says. He said there are other people in his class that he gets along with, so he is going to start spending more time with them. He also told me not to tell Y's parents because then Y will make it even worse for him. I told him that of course I won't. I want him to be able to talk to us and tell us what's going on with him, and I would never betray that trust.
After this conversation he said "This never happened to me at Tully." I don't want him to associate it with Concordia and think that's the only reason it's happening. So we told him that unfortunately, the older he gets, the more it will start happening.
But I felt so sorry for him. He really has been torn. Hopefully since we've talked about it he'll feel better and go back to doing what he REALLY wants to do.
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2 comments:
Sounds like Y is one of those kids who can't stand to share anything including friends.
Good for you for being able to talk to Andrew about it!
I remember when you were in the 5th grade and your best friend's family was transfered to Texas. You were trying to find another nitch for yourself. One of the girls said something really rude to you, I don't remember what. I told you it really hurt me that she said that but it would hurt me more if you said something like that. Oh the joys of parenthood. Love Mom
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