SARAHISMS . . . AGAIN . . .

"What? What's the problem?"

Sarah: Mommy, stop singing!
Me: Why?
Sarah: Because I don't like it!

"I wanna go home to KENtucky!"

FUNK . . .

I haven't been writing much lately. I've been kind of in a "funk" and can't figure out how to get out of it. Hopefully it'll get better when we get home. Actually, I'm SURE it will. I think I'm just SOOOO ready to go home, that it's bringing me down. The last few weeks have been pretty hard. All of my, OUR, friends are gone, either for the summer or for good, so there hasn't been much to do around here. Plus, it's either raining, or it's so hot we don't want to go outside. We've been watching a lot of movies; the kids are doing their Math every, well ALMOST every day; they have one set of friends that are still here, brothers, so they've been over here for a sleepover every week for the past few weeks. That's been nice because it gives them someone different to play with for a change.

But I'm still in a "funk." Hopefully it'll go away soon. It's getting old.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA . . .

Today is my Grandma's birthday. At least it would be if she was still with us. It's hard to believe she's been gone for almost 12 years.

From the time I was very little, she's always been my hero. And she always WILL be my hero. I have so many great memories of spending time with her. My cousin, Cyndi, and I would go to her place together and spend the night. Sometimes I wonder how she put up with us. I remember sitting on the back of her couch, Cyndi on one side and me on the other, and we would "style" her hair. Poor thing! The year we went to Cheerleading Camp, we came home and performed all of our cheers for her.

Some of my best memories are of times spent with her. She made the BEST fried chicken. And I've never tasted anything like it since. And she LOVED White Castle and Kit Kat's. I remember when she was in the nursing home before she died. Every time I would go to visit I would take her 2 White Castles. She'd always say she wasn't hungry and she'd eat them later, but she always finished them before I left!

She started getting sick before our wedding, so she wasn't able to make it to the wedding. But she was staying with Mom and Dad at the time so she got to see me in my wedding dress. Of course, she couldn't see much because her eyesight was failing. But she looked at me and said, "You look so beautiful!" She always said that. No matter what I was wearing or what I looked like. And to her, I always was. I've never been a super model, obviously, and I've never been the Valedictorian, but she always thought I was smart and beautiful. And she actually BELIEVED that! I think she must have worn rose colored glasses her whole life. But I NEVER felt like I wasn't good enough for her. I ALWAYS knew she was proud of me. I can honestly say I NEVER doubted that.

A few years before she died, we decided as a family, all of her kids and grand kids, that the perfect song for her was "Wind Beneath My Wings." (We even sang it for her on Karaoke. I'm sure there's a copy of it floating around somewhere. If anyone has it, I would LOVE to copy it). And it IS the perfect song for her. I still can't hear that song without thinking of her. It will ALWAYS be her song. "I would be nothing without you. Did you ever know that you're my hero? You're everything I wish I could be." I SWEAR those lines were written just for her.

I remember at her funeral, the priest was talking about what a great person she was. He said that she had 13 grandchildren, and all of them felt like she was their favorite. Then we all went around the room and said that WE were the favorite. (But actually it was ME)!! ;-) He also talked about her love for butterflies. So for those of you that know me well, NOW you know why I always collect butterfly objects. It makes me feel like she's still with me.

I'm SOOOO lucky to have had her in my life. I know she's watching down on me from Heaven. Believe me, if anyone is in Heaven, it's her.

I told you before that Jason was named after her. It breaks my heart that she never got to meet my kids. I know she would have loved them, and I KNOW they would have loved her. There was always so much joy and love in her eyes every time she looked at me. And it was real. You can't fake that. I don't know what I did to deserve her, but I'm so glad I got her. I never felt like I wasn't good enough. I never felt like I should be prettier, or smarter, or funnier. She loved ME for ME. Flaws and all. And believe me, there are lots of them!

I see so much of her in my kids. Jason has her sensitivity. She was always so aware of how people felt, and she never wanted to hurt anyone. Jason's like that. Plus, he's named after her, so she will be a part of him forever. She was never a very "demonstrative" person when it came to affection, but we always knew she loved us, and she always knew we loved her. Andrew gets that from her. He loves us, and he knows we love him, but he sure doesn't like to show it! And Sarah, well Sarah talks just like her. I mean ALL THE TIME!!!!

I LOVE you Grandma, and I miss you. Some days I miss you SOOOO much. I thank God EVERYDAY that He gave me you as my Grandma. Happy Birthday Grandma!