PYHO: "LOSING" A FRIEND . . .

We've all been there.  You have a friend.  A CLOSE friend.  An extension of you.  That person you talk to daily.  The one you share your secrets with.  The one you vent to about your husband and your kids.  They make you laugh.  They cry with you.  They are honest with you, whether you want to hear it or not.  THAT friend.

So what happens when that friend is gone?  What happens when they pull away from you and you don't know why?  What do you do?  Is it me?  Is it them?  Did I say something wrong?  Did I DO something wrong?   

At what point do you just give up and walk away?  I'm usually the one making the contact.  I'm usually the one suggesting we get together.  I'm usually the one asking her to lunch.  That makes me think *I'M* the only one that really cares about continuing the relationship. 

Maybe that's not the case, but it sure feels that way.  So do I just give up?  Do I walk away?  Do I move on?  Or do I keep trying?  Is it worth trying to salvage?  What would you do?

Lake House Update . . .

So I told you we were on the adjoining properties.  I had been talking to the wife owner of one of the lots and she told me they'd work with me because they didn't want the liability and they wanted to get it taken care of.  She told me she'd talk to her husband to see how much they wanted for just that portion of the lot.  Well the husband called me back last night and told me they would sell us that portion of the lot for $8500!  Did I mention they only paid $2500 for THE ENTIRE LOT?!  He made it very clear that they weren't willing to budge on the price.  He made a few comments that led me to believe that they won't work with anyone EXCEPT the person they want to buy the house.  Nice huh?!  

I forgot to tell you that the last time we were down there we discovered that one of the neighbors tried to buy the house from the bank before it went to foreclosure.  They weren't able to get it, so now basically it seems like everyone down there is going to make it difficult for ANYONE EXCEPT the person that THEY want to buy the lot.  

So now we have to decide how to proceed.  We have contacted HUD to let them know the situation.  Since it's still in their name, we're hoping THEY can do something about it.  I REALLY want this property.  But I have a feeling the neighbors will try to make our lives difficult if we DO end up GETTING it.  

SO FRUSTRATED!

PYHO: WHO I AM . . .

Do you ever feel like people have a TOTALLY different view of you than you do of yourself?  I feel that way almost all the time.

For example, my Mom thinks I am this person that has lots of self-confidence.  Really?  I have NO self-confidence.  I'm constantly worrying about what people are thinking or saying about me.  Did I say the wrong thing?  Should I have said something different?  Should I have not said anything at all?  ME?  Self-Confident?  PLEASE.  I wish!

My husband actually thinks I'm pretty.  No, he REALLY does.  How goofy is that?  I guess he must truly be blinded by love.  I think I have pretty eyes.  That's about it.  But I'm extremely overweight, my face still breaks out, my hair has to be washed every day so it's not oily, I have short and stubby toes and fingers, and poker straight hair.  Pretty?  Not hardly.  But honestly, I really think he thinks that.  Don't know why, but he does. 

My friends think I'm one of the nicest people they know.  No, seriously, a few of them have actually told me that.  I have one friend that tells me she loved me right away because I'm kind, friendly, welcoming, and wouldn't intentionally hurt anyone.  They say I'm easy to talk to, a good listener, give good advice, and I'm someone they can trust.  

How do my KIDS see me?  Well I guess that depends on the day.  Some days they think I'm the greatest Mom ever and they couldn't live without me.  Other days?  I'm the meanest Mom on earth and they wish I was richer, prettier, nicer, and more lenient.

People are always telling me that I'm a great mother, a great wife, and a wonderful friend.  

Put all those things together, and I think people see me like this:

Now, what am I REALLY like?

Well let's see.  I have NO self-confidence.  NONE.  ZIP.  ZERO.  ZILCH.  

I'm lazy, unorganized, un-pretty, nice enough, but definitely not the nicest person you'll ever meet.

I'm an okay Mom.  I LOVE my kids.  DEARLY.  But I'm not the kind of Mom that makes things and does everything from scratch and spends 24 hours a day tending to their every wish and demand.  

I'm a terrible housekeeper, (just ask my hubby), I HATE doing laundry, I don't really have any hobbies except maybe reading, watching TV, and hanging out with my family and my friends. 

I'm judgmental, I hold grudges, I don't volunteer at my kids' schools as much as I should, I'm a procrastinator.  (I mean, I'm writing this post a day late.  What does THAT tell you)?!

So yeah, MY opinion of me?  TOTALLY different than what other people think.  I WISH I was the type of person people think I am.  Instead, I'm more like this:

How about you?  Do YOU think you're the same person that OTHER people think you are?

Mom's Surgery . . .

My mom is in surgery right now.  It's not a major surgery, but it's still a surgery.  One that she only told me about once, and didn't really make a big deal out of it.  So I didn't go to the hospital.  I ALWAYS go to the hospital when she has a surgery, no matter what it's for.  But this one was on the other side of the bridge and it started at 8:00 am.  And my last kid doesn't leave for school until 9:25, so I honestly thought it would be over by the time I even made it out the door.  

It's out patient surgery, and I didn't think it would take that long.  But it took 2 hours.  She just got out a few minutes ago.  As a matter of fact, she was still in surgery, when I started this post, so that tells you how long it's been since she's been out! 

And now I'm sitting here feeling guilty because I didn't go.  Of course, she would have been OUT by the time I got there, but I still feel like I should have gone.  But at least she's out now, and I just talked to my dad and he said she's doing fine she's just fading in and out as the Anesthesia wears off.  They did tell her she can't get in the water for 10 days.  Y'all, she goes to water aerobics 5-6 times a WEEK!  She is NOT going to be a happy camper.  I'm just glad I wasn't the one that had to tell her that!  :)

MORE LAKE HOUSE ADVENTURES . . . .

Yesterday we went down to Nolin for the Home Inspection and the Septic Inspection, and to meet with the Surveyors so they could show us the boundaries.  

The good news?  Nothing major on the Home Inspection that we didn't already know about except for a leak in the kitchen faucet.  Not really a big deal.  A few shingles missing on the roof, again, not really a big deal.  He said if we just add shingles, we probably have another 5-7 years of life left in it.  Works for me. 

Now for the bad news.  We originally thought we were partially on the lot above us, (Lot 31).  Not much, just the retaining wall and steps.  We also thought part of the driveway might be on the property below us, (Lot 35), and that the shed in the very back might be on her property as well.  After having the survey done, we know that the driveway and the shed are well on our property.  There's even about 1-2 feet extra, so that's good.  However, on the OTHER side, it's not just the retaining wall and the steps that are on their property.  Of course not, that would be too easy.  Nope, about 6 feet of the driveway, including the laundry room of the house, are on their property.  Nice huh?  Apparently the guy who owned it before it went into foreclosure pretty much did whatever he wanted to do, with no regard for anyone else.  He owned lots 31, 32, (which we are ALSO partially on), and lot 34, (our lot).  When he knew he was going into Foreclosure he sold off lots 31 and 32.  Now maybe he didn't KNOW he was SIGNIFICANTLY on those lots, but I really find that hard to believe.  I think he knew, and he just didn't care.  He just wanted his money out of them. 

And because it's a HUD Home, they don't really care either.  They just want it sold.  So now we have to decide if it's worth our time and money, to take care of all these issues.  

Fun, huh?

LAKE HOUSE . . .

It's been a long month.  

Last month, January 23 to be exact, (really?  that's all it's been?  it feels like FOREVER!), we wrote a contract on a place at Nolin Lake.  Now, before you start thinking, 'oh, they must be rich!', it's a $38,000 home.  NOT exactly Trump Tower!  But that's okay.  IF everything works out, it'll be perfect for us.  It's 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, great room, kitchen, laundry room, deck, room to park the boat.  Yes, it needs a lot of work, but for $38,000, it'll be worth it.  

We've been looking, off and on, for almost 5 years.  We've gone back and forth about whether or not to get a place.  We LOVE spending time at the lake.  And so do the kids.  But as much as we enjoy it, it's not as much fun unless we can take people down with us.  And for that, you need to have your own place.  But everything we looked at only had 2 or 3 bedrooms and 1 bath.  And they were all 600 or 700 sqft.  

Now, keep in mind, we SAW bigger places that we liked.  LOVED actually.  But they were all out of our price range.  Some of them were more than what we paid for our current house.  I'm sorry, but I'm NOT going to spend 200K on a house that we'll only use for less than 100 days a year.  NOT going to happen!  Of course, we have beer dreams, on a champagne budget.  We wanted something big enough for our friends to come down with us, but that didn't cost an arm and a leg.  NOT an easy task!

Then this one came up.  It's a foreclosure that's been sitting for almost 4 years.  And it was well within our price range.  You know the old saying, "if it's too good to be true?"  Well, we should have listened!  There's a REASON it's been sitting that long.  The floor in the kitchen looks like a roller coaster.  LITERALLY.  But JUST in the kitchen.  The carpeting in the rest of the house is stretched and some of it is stained and has holes in it.  There are holes in some of the walls.  The WALLPAPERED walls, I might add.  The back half of the driveway and retaining wall are encroaching on the property behind it.  Oh, and the biggest issue?  There's a problem with the Septic System.  A MAJOR problem.  What is it, you ask?  Well no one seems to know.  And because it was taken back by the bank and is now a foreclosure, no one really cares to find out WHAT the problem is.  Except the morons, of course, that want to buy the property.  Yep, you guessed it - that would be US!  Nice, huh?!

So tomorrow we're going down for a Home Inspection and a Septic Inspection.  If everything turns out okay, then we'll be proud owners of a home at the lake that needs lots of TLC!  

But these last few weeks have been HORRIBLE!  I've decided that I am, without a doubt, the WORST client I've had in 18 years of real estate.  How sad is that?  But, again, if it all works out, it'll be worth it.  So now we wait, another day, for another inspection, and another report.  And hopefully, by this time tomorrow, we'll have the answers we need.

WISHING I COULD BE HONEST . . .

Sometimes I wish no one knew about my blog.  Why?  Because many times I've started a post and not finished it because I'm worried about who's going to read it and if I am going to hurt someone's feelings.  If no one KNEW about it, then I could write to my heart's content, and not worry about someone getting offended, or holding something I've said against me, or thinking I'm a bad person for feeling a certain way.  

I mean, they're MY FEELINGS.  Not yours or anyone else's.  Just because you don't agree with them, doesn't make them wrong.  And it doesn't mean I should FEEL bad for feeling that way. 

You see, if no one that knows me read my blog, then I could FINISH a lot of the posts that I've started.  I've started some about my hubby, my kids, my family, my in-laws, my friends.  Not mean and nasty, mind you, I'm not really a mean and nasty kind of person, but HONEST posts about getting my feelings hurt, or getting upset, or feeling inadequate.  THOSE kind of posts.  The kind of posts that other people CAN write about, because no one really knows them.  I want to be THAT person. 

THIRTY-ONE'S NEW CATALOG . . .

The new Spring Catalog came out on Wednesday.  Want to see my new favorite print?

And if you don't know why this is my favorite print, then you haven't been reading my blog very long!  :)  I love butterflies.  Like, LOVE them.  

You see, my favorite person in the world was my Grandma.  And she died over 13 years ago.  At her funeral the priest was talking about how much she liked butterflies, and how much SHE was like a butterfly.  (So true).  From that moment on, butterflies just became the "thing" in my family.  You're having a tough time and you see a butterfly?  Everything's going to be okay, because Grandma came to check on you.  THAT'S how it makes me feel.  So anytime I see something with butterflies, I just HAVE to have it.  Sarah's room?  Pink and green with butterflies.  Our master bathroom and 1/2 bath downstairs?  Butterflies.  Our bedroom set?  Butterflies.  I have pictures of butterflies, butterfly earrings, necklaces, bracelets, and rings.  You get the picture-I LOVE butterflies!

So you can imagine how THRILLED I was when I saw the new print.  Now I want everything they have in the butterfly print.  Like I don't have enough stuff already.  REALLY?  

Anyway, if YOU can't live without the butterflies either, or you just want to check out the new catalog, you can go HERE.