PYHO: Arguing In Front Of The Kids . .

I had a complete Mom Fail a couple of weeks ago.  We went to a surprise birthday party for my FIL at my SIL's house.  She has cats.  THREE of them.  And I am allergic to cats.  EXTREMELY allergic.  So after being there for a couple of hours, I was SO ready to leave.  I was starting to get a migraine from all of the sniffing and sneezing.  

Some friends of ours were supposed to come meet us at the party.  UofL was playing basketball for the Big East Tournament, so they knew they wanted to watch the game.  They called us to see if we wanted to stay at my SIL's and watch it or if we wanted to meet them somewhere.  But Ryan said, "they want to know if we want to meet them to watch the game."  The way he said it made me think they'd already talked about it and that that was what he wanted to do.  And since I'd had enough of the cats, I was MORE than ready to leave.  So I told him we'd meet them.  What he DIDN'T tell me, was that he wanted to stay THERE and watch the game. 

He kept trying to hurry us out of there, but Andrew wanted to wait until they cut the cake so that he could have a piece.  By the time we left, Ryan was ticked off because we were going to miss the start of the game, and I was ticked off because he kept snapping at me.  So we get in the car and we just started arguing and yelling at each other.  Mind you, we were BOTH wrong.  But neither one of us wanted to admit it.  So we just kept yelling at each other.  Finally, Andrew starts crying in the backseat because he's never seen us yell at each other like that. 

I felt like such a bad Mom.  I think it's okay for kids to see you argue with each other, and then see you make up, but we really went too far.  We both explained to him that everything was okay and that we were just upset and it had nothing to do with him.  I also told him that just because Mommy and Daddy argue doesn't mean they don't love each other.  I pointed out that he gets mad at me sometimes, and does he stop loving me?  He said no.  (Thankfully).  So I told him it was the same thing.  We still love each other, VERY MUCH, but we were just having a bad night. 

But still, I wish it hadn't happened.  And it SHOULDN'T have happened.  If we'd both been honest in the first place, and/or admitted that we were both wrong, then it never WOULD have happened.  But it did, and now there's nothing we can do about it, except act like grownups and try not to let it happen again.

Do you ever argue in front of your kids?  Do you think it's a bad thing to do?  What do you say to your kids when they see you arguing? 

Pouring My Heart Out today thanks to Shell.

Final Four Baby!

I posted a few days ago about Ryan wanting to go to The Final Four.  So guess who's heading to New Orleans Thursday night/Friday morning?  That's right, ME!  I've never been there before, so I'm kind of excited about going some place new.  But I'm REALLY excited about being there for the Final Four.  We're the only state to send 2 teams to the Final Four.  How cool is that?  It's also the first time that UK/UofL have EVER played each other in the Final Four.  And I'll be there to see history being made.  So yeah, I'm a little excited! :)  I'll be even MORE excited when my Cats send the Cards home packing!  (I sure hope so anyway)!  

I plan on taking lots of pictures down there, so I'll post them when I get back.  In the meantime, I'm trying to figure out what to take and get us packed, getting the kids stuff packed for the grandparents, and finishing taxes before we leave!

One more thing - GO CATS!!!!

Hunger Games . . .

I took my 12 year old son to see "The Hunger Games" last night.  We both LOVED it!  It's definitely one of the best movies I've seen in years.  The acting was SUPERB.  Jennifer Lawrence was AMAZING as Katniss and Josh Hutcherson was the perfect Peeta.  He conveyed the longing and the love that Peeta has for Katniss with just a look.  And she portrayed Katniss' fear and disappointment without saying a word.  The supporting actors were great too.  Lenny Kravitz was my favorite.  I have to admit I shook my head when I heard he was playing Cinna.  I just didn't think he was the right fit.  But he NAILED it.  For as little as he was on the screen, he still had a big impact - his admiration for Katniss which then turned into love and respect.  Woody Harrelson as Haymitch was HYSTERICAL.  Most of the laughs came from him.

I love that the movie actually stuck to the story in the book.  But I do wish that they had spent more time on the actual Hunger Games and less time on the events leading up to it.  In the book, when Rue dies, I cried like a baby.  But I didn't when she died in the movie because they hadn't really spent a lot of time on their relationship.  But honestly, that is my only disappointment.  I think the movie was very well written.  The acting was amazing.  And I can't wait to see  "Catching Fire".  

A lot of people have talked about the violence in the movie.  If you've read the books, you know it's a violent subject and the books are VERY violent.  But I didn't think the violence in the movie was that bad.  I honestly think there is a lot  more violence in movies like "Transformers" and even "Star Wars."  I was a little leery about letting Jason see it because of all the things people were saying about the violence.  But he REALLY wanted to see it, and he'd read the book, so I took him.  However, I didn't want to take Andrew because I didn't know what to expect.  But after seeing the movie, I would let him see it if he wants to. 

If you haven't seen it, I strongly recommend it, especially if you've read the books.  It's definitely one I'll be seeing again.  And the sooner the better!

Final Four . . . .

If you follow basketball, you know that the University of Louisville is heading to New Orleans for the Final Four.  You also likely know there is a VERY  good chance that they will be facing the University of Kentucky in that game.  (We are a split household - I'm a Kentucky fan, and hubby is a Louisville fan). When Louisville won last night, hubby and his friends decided they HAD to be there. So they booked a room.  $1600 for 3 nights.  That's A LOT of money for a hotel room.  Granted, it's in the French Quarter, and it's Final Four, and we're not the only ones paying for it, but it's still A LOT of money for 3 nights in a hotel. 

He wants me to go.  And if Kentucky wins today, I'd LIKE to go.  But we have 3 kids.  And that would mean 5 days away from them.  5 days my parents would have to watch them.  5 days of them feeling like NCAA Basketball is more important to us than they are.  And that's not fair to them, and it's DEFINITELY not true. 

So I'm thinking, whether UK wins today or not, this might end up being a guys trip.  I can watch the game at the local sports pub, WITH my kids, my dad, and some of his closest friends, and still be able to cheer my Cats on to victory, even if that means doing it from Louisville instead of New Orleans.

Remember what life was like before having kids?  I wouldn't trade my kids for anything, but life was definitely less complicated then.  It would have been so easy to just go away for 5 days and not even give it a 2nd thought.

What would you do?

PYHO: World Down Syndrome Day . . .

I had another post already started for this week's PYHO.  Then I heard that today is World Down Syndrome Day.  So that post can wait until next week.

I read an article this week that really got my blood boiling.  You can read it HERE. 

Am I the only one that has a problem with this?  How can you say in one breath that you would have aborted her if you'd known she had Down Syndrome, and then in the SAME breath say that you love her?  I don't get it.  I feel SO sorry for her, and I don't even know her.  But I DO know there are A LOT of people out there that would have GLADLY adopted her and not expect to receive $2.9 Million to do it.  

Have you ever been around a Down Syndrome child?  If not, then you don't know what you're missing.  The ones I've met are AMAZING.  They are just a little "more" in my opinion.  I don't really know how to describe it any other way.  They're a little more happy, a little more friendly, a little more bubbly.  They're just MORE.  And they're a joy to be around.  And they always make me smile.

When I was pregnant with Sarah we knew Down Syndrome was a possibility because of my "advanced maternal age" as my OB liked to call it.  We KNEW that.  And we discussed it.  And we knew that even if she had Down Syndrome, she was still our child.  When I was about 19-20 weeks pregnant we were told that she likely had Spina Bifida and/or Down Syndrome.  Now we'd discussed Down Syndrome, but not Spina Bifida.  And Spina Bifida scared me because everything I read talked about how painful and hard it is on the child.  And that broke my heart.  

So we had an emergency ultrasound to investigate further.  At the ultrasound we were told she DEFINITELY didn't have Spina Bifida, but there was still a 1/200 chance that she would have Down Syndrome.  We were also told we could have an amniocentesis if we were really concerned about it.  We looked at each other for about 2 seconds and said no.  That wasn't even an option.  We knew she was our daughter, and we knew Down Syndrome or not, we would love her.  And we weren't willing to take the risk of losing her from the amnio, in order to find out for sure.  (Which they say is about 99% accurate).  We had 2 more ultrasounds, and with each ultrasound the odds of her having Down Syndrome decreased with each one.  But we still didn't know for sure.  When she was born, the first words out of Ryan's mouth were, "she's healthy."  And I knew what that meant.  And I cried like a baby.  But not because I wouldn't love her, or he wouldn't love her, or the boys wouldn't love her.  We ALREADY loved her.  But because I knew her life would be easier without it, and she wouldn't be judged the minute someone looked at her.  And as a parent, isn't that what we want for our children?  For their lives to be as easy as possible, and for them not to be judged at first site?

But if she HAD been born with Down Syndrome, I NEVER would expect to receive $2.9 million.  I still can't believe the jury awarded them that money.  It just leaves me speechless.  And believe me, that doesn't happen often.  

If they didn't want her, then why didn't they put her up for adoption?  There are SO many people out there that WANT a child.  And they would have gladly adopted her.  And in my opinion?  She would have been better off.  Now keep in mind, I don't know these people.  But if I were them, I sure wouldn't be proud to admit that I received $2.9 million for not being able to abort my child.  And I also wouldn't be proud to admit that I was on the jury that awarded them that money.