Sunday, February 22, 2015

Day 14: 10 Things About Me . . . (Catching Up) . . .

I started this A LONG TIME AGO, but I never posted it.  Guess that's my ADD and Scatterbrained-ness setting in!  ;-)

Day 14:  Ten Things I Wish People Knew About Me:

1.  I CONSTANTLY worry about what other people think of me.  I wish I didn't, but I do.  When I leave a group or a conversation, I'll spend HOURS sometimes rethinking everything I said and did.  I'm always second guessing myself. 

2.  I have very low self esteem.  I always have.  I've had people say they think I have a really good self esteem, and that's when I know they don't really know me.  People that REALLY know me, know that's not true. 

3.  Even though I've never been diagnosed, I know I have ADD.  I think I've pretty much had it my whole life, although it seems to be getting MUCH worse, the older I get.  I talked to my doctor about it, and the only way to REALLY help it, is to start taking medicine.  Then you have to go to the doctor once a month and the medicine has to be regulated.  I don't want to go through all that, so I'm trying to figure out ways to deal with it on my own.  I've started writing most things down.  I also put things in my phone and set reminders.  I have about 10 alarms set on my phone at any given time.  Then, when it goes off, I keep hitting snooze until I get it done.  If I hit dismiss, it's dismissed out of my head, just as quickly as it's dismissed out of my phone.  My mind is constantly going in about 17 different directions at one time, and I'm trying to do the best I can to deal with the ADD.  It's not perfect, but it's a start, and it works MOST of the time.

4.  I'm very sensitive.  I get my feelings hurt VERY easily. 

5.  I love to people watch.  I am constantly watching the people around me.  I like to sit facing the door whenever I am at a restaurant or bar.  My best friend says my Dad and I act like we are in the Mob!  ;-)  But I like sitting facing the door, because I like to watch all of the people that come in and out the door.

6.  My favorite person in the whole wide world has been my Grandma.  I love her dearly.  She's been the biggest influence on my life.  That doesn't mean my parents or brother or hubby or kids are any less important to me, she just has a very special place in my heart, and she always will. 

7.  My Degree is Psychology. That means I pretty much over think anything and everything I do.  But it also means I'm always looking for the REASONING behind what people do.  I don't just automatically assume they are good or bad.  No one is inherently good or bad.  We just make good or bad decisions. 

8.  My hubby and my kids are my world.  I know I screw up.  A LOT.  But I really hope they never doubt my love and commitment to them.  NEVER.

9.  I REALLY wish I could sing.  I always have.  I couldn't carry a tune to save my life.  But I sing GREAT in the car and in the shower!  ;-)  I LOVE to sing.  I'm just not very good at it.  :-(

10.  I love to write.  I have since I was a kid.  It's very therapeutic for me.  I used to journal all the time when I was younger.  That's one reason I started the blog.  But in a journal, I can be more honest because no one sees it and knows who I am.  With the blog, I feel like I have to watch what I say, and how I say it, because people know who I am.  Sometimes I wish I could start another blog, where no one knows it's me, so that I can use it as a journal.      

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