I LOVE My Job!

I think I have the greatest job in the world.  I've been a Realtor for 19+ years, and I LOVE it!  And I happen to be pretty good at it.  (As negative as I am about myself, I bet you're surprised to hear me say something POSITIVE, huh)?!  ;)  But I DO love my job.  I love helping people find the perfect house for them.  I love helping them through the process of selling the house they've lived in for 45+ years, and are struggling to move on.  I love making the transition as easy as possible for them.  Taking care of all of the behind the scenes problems and drama, so that my clients don't stress about it, wondering if everything is going to be okay.  THAT'S my job.  To take care of things.  To make them work.  To keep my clients' stress levels down throughout the process.  To take care of PEOPLE.  

I think that's why I like it so much.  It's not the paperwork.  I HATE the paperwork.  It's not the hours.  They're not consistent and usually involve nights and weekends.  It's not the pay.  The pay is even less consistent than the hours!  ;)  I think it's being a caretaker.  A protector.  A watcher.  A helper.  THAT'S what I like so much about it.  HELPING people.  

Maybe it's because it's the ONE thing I'm good at.  The one thing that I do well.  The one thing I don't screw up.  The ONE thing, besides my family and friends, that I LOVE. 

I Don't Go To Church, BUT .....

I've run this post through my head a gazillion times, but I've been afraid to post it because of how people might react.  But here goes. I don't go to church.  There.  I said it.  I know that kills my parents who never miss a week, attend every holy day mass, go sometimes just because they feel like it, and have been part of a biweekly prayer group for as long as I can remember. But I don't.  I did when I was growing up, because my parents made me.  I did when I was in college, because the priest there was AMAZING, and I ALWAYS got something out of the sermon.  And I did for awhile after that.  But I don't anymore.  I go Christmas and Easter with my parents.  But that's pretty much it.  And honestly, if I didn't think they'd be extremely disappointed in me for not going on those days, I'm not sure I'd even go then!  :(

I stopped going because I felt like a hypocrite.  When I was there, I kept thinking about all of the things I could and should be doing.  I wasn't really paying attention.  I wasn't getting anything out of it.  I didn't WANT to be there.  I was there because that's what I was "supposed" to do.  So I stopped going.  And I'm okay with it.  But I know a lot of other people aren't.  I know a lot of people look down on me for not going.  They think I'm not a good role model for my children.  I'm not teaching them to be true Christians.  I'm not teaching them about God and being Godly. 

But you know what?  I don't have to go to church to do that.  I would like to think my children learn from my actions.  NOT from my action of going or not going to church, but for my REAL actions.  They see me volunteer at their school on a weekly basis.  VOLUNTEER.  They see me help my friends' when they need something.  They see me drive to Evansville every two weeks to help take care of Ryan's Grandpa.  They see me taking care of him, and therefore not sleeping, while he's here staying with us.  They see my ACTIONS.  They see how I treat people.  They see how I teach THEM to treat people.  They see how I treat THEM. 

I am teaching my kids not to be judgmental.  I am teaching them to love people for who they are on the inside, not for what they look like on the outside.  I am teaching them to help other people in need.  I am teaching them to respect other people, whether you agree with their beliefs or not.  I am teaching them to believe that you don't always have to get paid for the work you do; you do it because it's the right thing to do and because you want to help other people.  I am teaching them that no matter what they do or say, I will NEVER stop loving them.  I will never judge them.  I will never ask them to change who they are.  

So yeah, I don't go to church.  I have a lot of issues with it, and I have most of my life.  But that doesn't mean I'm not a good person.  That doesn't mean I'm not teaching my children the right things.  That doesn't mean I'm not a good role model.  That doesn't mean I'm not a good Christian.  It just means I'm different from you.  YOU go to church.  I DON'T.  And I'm okay with that.  I don't NEED to go to church.  If I did, I would go.  But please don't judge me for not going.  Please don't say my kids aren't learning about God because they're not going to church.  If you judge me for not going to church.  If you condemn my kids because they don't go.  What kind of a person are you?  How are you better than me?  I'm not judging YOU.  YOU are judging ME.  And yet, I'M not a good Christian?

Anyone out there going through the same thing?  If so, how do you deal with it?  Are you okay with your decision, or do you question it?  Sometimes I feel like a bad person because I don't go to church.  But when I WAS going, I felt like a bad person because I felt like a hypocrite.  How do you deal with those thoughts and feelings?  Do they eventually go away?  Honestly, I'm OKAY with my decision not to attend to church.  It really doesn't bother me.  Until someone brings it up.  Until someone questions me about it. Or judges me for it.

What would YOU do?